Memoirs – Chapter Twenty Four

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Why is it that it is when you are cheating that your suspicion that your partner could be doing the same is at its most heightened stage? I was very uneasy about him and the more I thought of it the angrier I got. The man had done nothing wrong except compliment my wife without even knowing she was mine but in my eyes it could not go unchecked. I deleted the sms Khanyi had sent because yes I am a big guy but my arms weren’t that strong so with the anger I had towards my wife’s boss I was not in a flirty mood. I am not really one for flattery. I went and sat next to my wife and casually asked what it was the boss wanted like she knew. She said that she had no idea but thought maybe it was a rite of passage for every new employee to meet the boss. That thought scared me. In a labour law case we were given a statistic that made everyone laugh but was quite scary nonetheless. If I recall correctly it said something like in every big company there is one guy who crosses the line and sleeps with half the female employees before a case is even brought against him. That’s why companies don’t allow fraternization. Was he the guy? I hate law for one reason, it often leaves you knowing too much and you are constantly on guard!

I don’t think she realized that I was being jealous. That’s the other about being a stay at home wife. You stop being in touch with what is happening in the real world. For my wife, it was just procedure. If anyone hit on her then I doubt she would not see it until it was too late. It is weird, how does a woman fail to see that someone is hitting on her though. It is not easy to hit on someone so please you better recognize the effort no matter how weak. She said that she needed to go take a bath and just rest. She was tired. I understood. I went and did the dishes. I also had work so after I was done I focused on it. The following morning my wife wore a jeans and flat shoes. I asked her why on earth she would dress like that and she said that at work they were encouraged to do so. It was easier to run around in flats and for many women heels were just a nightmare no matter how used one is to them. It does not take a genius to see that I always say. Women will rather torture themselves and wear those uncomfortable shoes only to take them off as soon as the get into a car or office. No wonder why they are so tired after work. Carrying extra shoes really! For what? My wife was not like that though. She rarely wore heels even at church where women especially make sure they do. She often said that God does not care whether you look tall or not so why suffer. Wise woman. Secretly though I was happy that she wore flats. It did not make her stand out as much as she did on the few occasions she was forced to torture her feet.

I was quite anxious the whole day and what’s worse I could not call my wife as often as I wanted. She had no office line for one meaning that she could not be on her mobile phone as often as she could. Imagine on your second day in an open plan office like hers receiving so many calls on your private calls. My boss called me in and said I was going to have to go to Pretoria for two weeks on work business. It was my account that needed extra work. I was going to go with Lindiwe who dealt mostly with Labour issues. She was a Wits Graduate and her and I were strictly colleagues. She had her own crowd at work and I had mine. This was going to be awkward but I am a professional. What needed to be done was urgent so we were to leave in two days time. Two weeks is a long time though! How do you even pack for such long? That though was not my major concern, this would mean I would not be around long enough to force my wife to quit her job! I was royally screwed as far as I was concerned.

As the day dragged on and all arrangements for the trip and all the paperwork that was needed was being organized I had a bit of free time. An hour or so. I went down to the lobby with the intention of going to grab a bite. At the entrance I bumped into Khanyi. For a moment there I thought she was going to cause a scene because I had not replied her sms. Instead she was very bubbly and told me she was coming to take me out for lunch. I told her that she was going to get us in trouble what if we bumped into my wife or something. She said I should not worry my wife was meeting her new boss now and that usually takes about an hour. This was just torture. I told her I only had an hour to spare and again she played it down to no big deal. I did not want her to get comfortable coming here unannounced like this no did I want my colleagues to get used to her face. She could see I was tense and she kept on telling me to relax. We went to some Cafe on Strand Street. All she wanted to do was talk and see me she said. I was too nervous though so it was not the best meeting. I told her I was going to Joburg for two weeks and she sounded genuinely depressed about it. Eventually I had to go and thank heavens too! I was too tense!

Today she got home before me, my wife that is. She had bought take out and argued that it was because I had cooked the previous day. I joked at how that had came out so wrong and she said no she did not mean it in a negative way! I asked her how it went with her boss and she said it was fun. They discussed a lot of things including family and so on. Harmless enough. She said he was a nice man all round and she enjoyed the talk they had had. Then she said,

“He has a lovely wife with two kids. Pity for him though his wife lives in Joburg. You know Mxolisi I don’t think I could ever survive if you stayed so far away from me!”

I did not really hear most of what she words except for the words ‘wife’ and ‘Joburg’! Did Khanyi not say he was gay? In fact I was certain she said he was gay! Stereotype or not I should have figured out that he was not clean enough to be gay! With his wife in Joburg surely he had all the time in the world to do whatever he wanted with whomever!

My wife was not done! She went to explain that he was actually from Joburg and had been moved here a year ago to run the Cape Town Office. A year is a long time to move away from your family. My wife even noted that who in their right mind would leave their wife and kids for such a long time. She was right! Long distance no matter how mature you are as people often opens up room for temptation and mistrust. Imagine, you cannot even trust your partner if you live with them or in the same town with them, what more if they are towns away.

I had to speak to Khanyi! Why had she lied? I got the impression she was trying to set up my wife with this guy to justify us together! Contrary to popular belief, no side dish wants to stay a side forever!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Greetings. I met a guy sometime last year and we started being together this year, we sort of related( my aunt is married to his uncle) and have an age gap of 19 yrs. He is not married but both of us have a child each from previous relationships. We sort of really complement each other as I noticed we really enjoy each others company, my issue is that we see each other very rare at times due to our job commitments as well as that we are very conscious that what will our families say or treat us when they found out about us, we both agreed that will keep this relationship a secret as a result that we see each other after a long time but problem I can’t no more control my feelings anymore m falling in love and we continuously discuss this but we fear our families as we believe we are related, what should I do, continue with the agreement we had or forget if there will be a future or just go with the flow maybe things will come right?

Kindly advice me on this issue how you perceive it


55 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Twenty Four

    1. HAPPY BORNDAY my Dear May all the desires of your heart be Granted to you! Have an awesome Day… πŸ™‚ ENJOY & Stay blessed!

  1. OMW Khanyi is such a snake, but dude you aint any better! you brought this on yourself so dzeal! Thanks Mikey great read!

  2. Mmmmmmh, this Khanyi chic…..trouble, i tell u….@ Juli, i really don’t think you are related, it”s ur Aunt and His Uncle…..there’s definately no relation there, so i don’t think there is something wrong with you guys dating…..



  4. Juli you and that guy are not related, its your aunt and his uncle that are married that has nothing to do with the pair of you.stop being dramatic

  5. Juli I suggest you take the plunge and make up your mind. Talk to some in your family and get a feel for what your family would think of your situation coz if you go on with this guy it’ll be more difficult to break up after falling so deep in love with him than if you decided to call it quits now and move on with your life. The age difference is neither here nor there, I suppose your major fear is the linkage of being related.

  6. wat didi Khanyi think that her lie will stay in tact i mean married people discuss this things all the time, wish Mxolisi will turn her into his puppy

  7. Happy birthday Ntoza… Not bad Mike but please don’t loose your touch… Zulugirl is no longer there and this is my only weekly dose and with the rate you are goin on I forsee disappointment. Q&A… Cc u r not related, do not deny yourself love and hapiness because your aunt is married to his uncle. The situation like yours happened in my family with three of my uncles… To me is almost normal. My aunt even saggested I go out with one of her causins bcos he is a good guy or something like that. Go for him sister

  8. Khanyi is definitely setting Asthandile up with the boss, yep, seems like she is really into Mxolisi and will do whatever it takes to get him.

  9. A2Q Juli the gap of 19 years??? And you compliment each other?? How exactly??? Yoooo things you do though…he is not hiding you bcos of ur aunt marrying his uncle, I think its bcos you are way too young 4 him, he is just embarrassed to be sleeping with a child!! Good luck with ur sugar-papa

  10. Morning ya’ll. Thank U Mike & God Bless. Please check & fix Pretoria / Joburg in terms of the work assignment for Mxo….otherwise gr8 read as always.

    Khanyi is 2 desperate 4 my liking…keng? Ha na life or she just wants 2 prove a point 2 Mxo…but wa bhora shame

  11. Good read as usual,A2Q Juli u not related to this guy so Stop limiting urself to having tru love,be Happy n stop being Dramatic

  12. Thanx Mike πŸ™‚ …

    Juli, you & your Boyfriend are not blood relations! (Its NOT like the uncle married your mother) So you can date & even marry this guy…# Twins can marry another pair of twins soooo…why can’t you? Go for it girl πŸ™‚ Grab your chance of being happy …

  13. Thanks Mike. Khanyi and Mxolisi can just have lunch nje just like that, in broad daylight nje whilst this Mxl is a married man. It’s like Mxolisi is just turning into a puppet, struuh.
    A to Q: Juli: either you jola the guy or not and both of you come out with your r/ship. Other than that there is no problem la. Age gap – is not a problem, depends on how you make each other feel, qha!!

  14. A2Q:hey Juli, I often hear my elders say: one way or the other some people in the family marry from the same family, bare motho a sepele ale one…u guys are not related…just curious though, so one of you was 19 when the other one was born…#

  15. Abisola might be right, maybe he’s scared they’ll tell him u r a baby or he’s not seroius with the relationship…men are like that, when its just the 2 of u its magic but when he turns around its all forgotten…I hope this works out for you.

  16. you guyz are not related but u r practically his child….how do you compliment your father? #iamjudging…….he is just tooo old for you shame!

  17. Khanyi is a psycho. I don’t like the sound of her one bit!!

    Juli baby, u and ur Mr aren’t related. Talk to him and air your feelings, if u guys agree then speak to important family members then take it from there. Life is too short to stress about things that don’t really matter! Go get your happily ever after. Goodluck.

  18. Juli life is yours, family are with who they want so u should be with who u want. Yes we r encouraged to respect family values bla bla blah but at th end of th millenium its yo heart tht matters, if u don’t luv him enuff to be with him openly then u don’t luv him much. P.s my man is 20yrs my senior and is brother to my step brother….twisted I kno 

  19. @MaNdloe, kwaaaaah!!! I still hold the age gap record dear, my hubby is 22 yrs my senior and have been married since 2004.

  20. Really enjoyed reading!
    Q&A: Gal you are not related dear by blood @ all. What makes u related is the marriage of yo aunt 2 his uncle but in all earnesty that doesn’t stop u from having a relationship. Even if it was yo sista married to his brother that wouldn’t make u related. Come out in the open & give the relationship a chance. Goodluck dear!!

  21. A 2 Q: U and the gut aren’t really related,U. Could date or marry if you want to. But ny concern is the age difference!! 18years is a huge difference,you shouldn’t even call him a guy,you should call him umalume!! But if you love each other,go for it!!

  22. Good thing about these diaries is you learn a lot about the opposite sex. The part where you can’t see a guy when they’re hitting on you is true. Sometimes it takes me a long time to see that someone is actually hitting on me or maybe its denial sometimes.
    So I had to laugh to the statement (it is not easy to hit on someone so please you better recognise the effort no matter how weak)

  23. Q.A. Go ahead u nt related ngokwesizulu ngoba akazalwa uaunty wakho nakin ngeke bakusole if nje wena ujabulile nomuntu wakho. Kunzima ukuthola abantu abajabulisayo kulamalanga.

  24. my advice is take every chance u get as some things happen once….its clear u love u cousin so y feeling bad…forget about u agreement n go public I’m sure u parents will get over it. ..i had de same situ n to my suprice my parents loved it as de guy is older as well. ..we almost got married until i realised we were not meant for marriage but it was gud. ..follow u heart gul.

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