Memoirs – Chapter Twenty Five

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

When I told my wife I was leaving for two weeks she was not that depressed about it. She knew how much I had been craving for more responsibility at work and I often complained about it. Any black person in any private company will readily tell you that where there are races involved, the white race always gets the juicy contracts. My story is not about race so no I will not go there but truth is truth. I was more senior to some white guys here yet they already sat in major deals whereas I looked out from the outside. Anyway my wife was happy for me and again she said it would give her time to acclimatize at work without having to worry about me. Everyone who gets a job for the first time works harder than everyone else at work firstly because of the excitement and secondly to get acceptance. My wife was no different. I knew her, when she put her mind to something she tended to be spectacular at it! We discussed my trip and I told her everything including Lindiwe. I expected her to be a bit jealous because in all honesty I don’t think I had ever mentioned Lindiwe before but she did not. Maybe it is not in a woman’s nature to quiz you about a new name in your life because she moved on to tell me about her new project. My wife was becoming me and that scared me! By that I mean that I know there was a time when my wife would tell me about her day and I would half listen. Most men do that to their partners that’s why they always claim you never told them something.

The following day at work it was busy. Lindiwe and I had to get busy and sync with our mission. Women might not know this but men do, most women we meet especially if they are on the young side we “check them out”! There is no other way to put it. I am not sure if its instinct or just sizing them up but we do. Don’t ever believe your man if he says he did not check out some of the females you brought home or you meet together. For us its what we do about it that matters and fortunately for most men we check them out from a distance and that’s it. Again only an overzealous woman would consider that cheating or out of order as the instinct is quite natural. Lindiwe was not much taller than my wife but she was incredibly fit. I bet you she was one of those rare women with a flat stomach that was as close to a six pack as possible without being called butch. Clearly she worked out which is a plus as women who work are incredibly sexy. She was not the prettiest but this was law after all and not a beauty contest. She was one of the smartest people we had in the firm and from what I hear she was quite the bull dog in court. She wore glasses and this I had noted from before, very minimal makeup if at all. I am sure she only had lip-gloss in a her makeup kit if she even had one. Why women choose to look like clowns honestly I don’t know?

She told me she was glad we will be working together and she asked me if she could be frank and I told she could go ahead considering we were going behind enemy lines together for two weeks. She told me that she appreciated that we will be working together because I was the only black guy at work who had not hit on her. Consider this, this is a law firm and she is a labour law lawyer why on earth would anyone be stupid enough to hit on her? Or at least I had always thought. Lawyers should know better! I figured she was telling me this though as a defensive mechanism so that we keep it professional there. This was her way of making me aware that she did not want to be hit on in the first place without coming out forthright with it. Clever reverse psychology. It is like when you know that someone is a kleptomaniac in the house, he or she is the one you give the household petty cash to keep safe. Why? They cannot steal what they already have and everyone knows they have. Lindiwe had just done that.

I never got a chance to speak to Khanyi and ask her about the gay thing but she sent me a text saying how much she missed me. I did not reply immediately though. Had so much to do. At 4pm I made sure I texted her back. I did not want to find her at my gate again. When I got home I walked in at the same time with my wife. She was still excited about her job. She emphasized how Khanyi was special to her and was making her transition so simple by guiding her through every through it. Much as I was dying to ask if her boss tried anything I realized that this would only make her suspicious. All husbands are possessive and if yours is not then he is over confident!

She helped me pack. It was a nightmare because I genuinely did not know how to pack for two weeks. I even suggested. That maybe I should but new shirts there but she reminded me how bad I was at shopping and in fact how much I hated it. Again that is a bit of a mistruth. I don’t want to say lie. Most men would gladly shop the problem is that we do not want to do it with our partners. When it comes to shopping women have no boundaries and do not stick to the budget. Moreover even if the mall is small she will walk you until your feet turn blue. She punishes you for putting her on that budget because she will say for that money she will need to find the right top hence why you must do all that walking. So that option was out. A man with a big suitcase is a no no though. I told her that as long as I had two suits and maybe two jeans for the weekend. I went into my study to work.

The following day my wife came to my work place during her lunch. It so happened that I was with Lindiwe going through a few things. My wife said she was checking up on me to see if I was ready. That was very sweet of her. I introduced her to Lindiwe and she greeted her cautiously. I know my wife very well and that look was of total confusion. I told her again that this was the person I was going with for two weeks whom I had told her about. Her confusion was genuine and coldly and bluntly she replied,

“You never told me it was a woman!”

Right there in front of Lindiwe. Imagine how awkward this was at the moment. I had nowhere to look. I had told her.

“You can’t go with a woman. Hell no!”

She did not raise her voice but her statement of intent was very clear. She meant this wholeheartedly!

My flight was leaving in 6 hours!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike
I hope you had a great Easter. I did not unfortunately. I have been married for six years. My husband and I have a son. However I have noticed that my husband is not really interested in having sex with me. When we do its labored and his mind is elsewhere. I put it down to the long hours he works sometimes weekends. Even when we share a bed he sleeps fully dressed pyjamas and all. He has a particular friend he is always with and they grew up together and went to university together. He too is married. They are always together. Because of this closeness we know each other, the wife and I. She is pregnant currently. On Friday she called me and said to me that she found our husbands kissing. I didn’t believe her, I mean how can I, we have a son and she is pregnant. Apart from our sexless marriage my husband provides, cares and all of the above for my son and I. There is nothing ‘gay’ about him. I don’t know what to think. The other wife has moved back to her parents. Should I do the same? I don’t know what to think. I asked him and he totally denied it.

What now?

Gay Wife

46 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Twenty Five

  1. I think Khanyi is going to follow on this trip… what do you think fellow readers? She will want to reassure her friend that she will look out for Mxo knowing very well she is there to shagg him… can’t wait for the next chapter… the pot is getting hot!!!!!

  2. nice one. but i think you should suprise us as to whom the wife will cheat with…the boss is becoming too obvious i hope its not him

  3. Visa denied dude, LOl.

    Gay wife or wife to a bisexual male, this is a tough one darl. However I don’t think the other wife would just make up stories and move out of her house if this was not happening. Clearly your husband has no intention of coming clean so for your own sanity, you need to do your own investigation and come to your own conclusion. Good luck dear.

  4. Thanx Mike. Hhawu this woman bakithi, that was so not necessary esp in front of Lindiwe! These young wives have a thing or two to learn. Anyway…
    A to Q: now that is hectic! Yyohh! What do you want to do? Never mind that the other wife has moved out, this should be about you and your hubby.

  5. Thanks Mike…hope you jad an awesome Easter. Answer to question…..your hubby might be gay or bisexual. Don’t ignore the signs and make excuses for him. I don’t think the friends wife left for the fun of it. You might just be his cover. You need to coax the truth out of him. Also make sure you know what you want to do should you get the truth.

  6. Great read! Thanks Mike…I dnt like this Khanyi woman mcm.
    A2Q Gay wife, yho that’s hectic, really sorry to hear that but I think ur hubby is indeed gay, his actions jst confirms that..or maybe he’s Bi…

  7. 🙁 gay wife. its really sad that you had to hear of this. you can try and speak to hubby and see if he will come clean. otherwise maybe you can get your families involved??? this is tough as I doubt that he will readily confess… strength to you

  8. Thank you guys….. A to Q iyoooooo inzima ke lena! If u dnt blv the friends wife do your own investigation.. Knw that bengeke ahambe if that was not true

  9. Thanks for the interesting read Mike.

    A2Q – your situation is what’s happening in most marriages, the signs couldve been always there but you didn’t notice. I know what your husband is going through (being with someone from the opposite sex but having feelings with someone who’s the same sex as you). We may not tell you what to do but at times you have to put yourself first…

  10. Thanx 4da great read Mike..we really appreciate all these books. A>Q..All I got to say to ths woman wit a cheating Husband is that guuuuuurl..thtz one fucked up situation u in,ur hubby is gay and I think u need no comfirmation from him or whatsoever about that..he kissed another nigga nd I think that shud be enough 4u to get that he might be in2 men..its sad that u have been married to him 4 ova 6 years but damn he wasted ur tym u better move coz u missing out on straight guys who can satisfy u wit a good D* out there..All the best nd God bless

  11. Eyy cc sonke sinamahlazo esihlezi phezu kwawo alikho elikhulu kunelinye hlala kwakho uhlale phezu kwamahlazo omyeni wakho pray for him ukuthi usathane amdedele kuzolunga in due course. We have many people whose husbands were caught in the act but they are still maried and managing the situation. Akusilo ihlazo anymore wena manage it the best way you see it fit but do not leave your home/husand kanti wawuthini kuma vows? Baningi abanye ozobathola as partners but nabo banama issues ongeke uwamele.

    Also be open about your sex life, demand to be satisfied, kuyilungele lakho as a partner and never ever entertain this gay side of him ngoba uzo relaxer ngalo esezitshela ukuthi usuyazi.

    All the best cc sonke sicwilile one way or the other kodwa asiyi ndawo usathane uye ozokhathala.

  12. Truthfully i don’t know how i would feel about my man going away for two weeks with another woman, so wifey i understand shem.
    Thanks Mike for a great read.

    Possible gay hubby???? let me reserve my comment on that. yho

    1. yoo dude you can say that again!! Its a tough one really. My BF once went to Italy with his female colleague. Very beautiful young lady. I lost weight ka be ka nna pila. My heart still skips a bit when I think about it. I honestly don’t know what happened there but hey life goes on.

  13. Yhooooo Wife of the “Bi or Gay Hubby”. This is really hectic in the true sense of the word hectic. There is no woman who wants to be told that her hubby is gay or simply sleeping with a man. Just the thought of two men in bed sends shivers down my spine. My only advise to you is that you need to stay in your matrimonial home and then do your own proper investigation. Yes the signs are there but if he says he is not gay then he will think he has no reason to be extra cautious thus you have a very good chance of catching him red handed.

    If truly he is doing this unthinkable act behind your back, do not worry you shall catch him and only then you can make your radical decision of leaving him. Another thing… be on a contraception…. this is not a time to be planning baby number two until you are certain this marriage will last!!

    All the best my dear!!! Remember if you sincerely seek God, He will show his glory and mercy over you!!!

  14. QnA…before I could even finish the question been asked, I already assumed this guy might be gay! We’ve seen this before, after nine kinda stuff. I doubt there’s a sane man outchea who will willingly admit to been gay, due to been married with a partner. I recently read up, that there are men who generally have sex with men. And they aren’t to be considered gay. Anyway, I’d advice you monitor this behaviour and follow it up with your own research. Bring up the notion why is the sex now a labour, what could be missing that you both aren’t addressing.

  15. thanks mike again………

    Q2A: the only thing i can say is that, the world is turning to Satanism…. thats all! yhooo cant imagine my hubby being gay or bi…. investigate then make ur decision……. surely it hurts to be in this situation. i feel for u cc. good luck…

  16. Q&A Oh dear sad, unfair n painful wat ur going thru, think ur hubby is selfish n he all along he swings both ways (bi), I think dear u need to excuse urself frm him cos u wl only get even more in future, off course he wl deny it cos stl incloset nt ready to come out. S*xless marriage is a sign tht he’s gay or bi.

  17. Q&A i am sorry that he was not honest enough to tell you straight but i think what the other wife is saying is true , think about it you said
    yourself that he is not interested in making love to you that is so unfair the fact that he even denied it, should really ring the alarm for you i wonder if you are ready to face the truth that your man is sleeping with another man

  18. Q&A. Da guy is sooo gay. Sa signs r all there. Its up 2 u, wat u decide 2 do with dat truth.maybe he is straight bt he likes 2 sleep with men, kunomehluko. Imshado unzima uza nezinkinga eziningi ezingafAni bt zonke zihlaba inhliziyo. Maybe with tym he will tell u da truth. Jst pray 2 God give u all da answers u need & 2 guide u cos He is da 1 who gave u dis marriage. Gud luck, be strong. His behaviour mstnt affect u & tell yourself There’s sumthng rong with u, maybe u not attractive enough, its all abt him & da way he is

  19. A2Q:I am so sori about whats happening in ur maRriage its really heartbreaking.a colleague of mine went through the same things in 2007 she found her husband in bed with his bestfriend.she lost weight she was so depressed she filed for sister has male friends who are married and are secretly dating ada man.the wifes do not know this secret and it disgust me everytime i see them with their wifes knowing what i know u cnt tell that they are are the only 1 who can decide whether to leave or stay in ur marriage ur husband kele after 9.he’s attracted to ada man whilst hiding behind ur relationship so ppl wont know his secret.i can imagine what u r going through it must b really hectic but i promise ull never ever b happy in that marriage u werent happy b4 knowing the secret now

  20. mike…mike…mike…2 weeks kodwa with another women…aikhona alot can happen in two weeks in a men’s world…
    to gay hubby yhoooo my sister nw thts one kind of hell ur going through, the thought of ur hubby’s leg spreading for another men is enough to paralyse you, I think ur hubby has always dated this guy since growing up so they used u guys to cover up their acts,Ive had alot of stories where men were caught with their friends in bed. I think its best you take time out and do introspection on what you want….good luck and pray about it…God will reveal Himself to you

  21. Ai, dis one is difficult sisi wam. Just investigate, den u’ll know what to do once u have the truth. Kodwa yanzima le way yaz.

  22. On the contrary, I think this reaction coming from the wife is being orchestrated by Khanyi since it means he will be going away from.her for two weeks

  23. Tjo now ds z such a low blow,this is soo unfair on u gay wife.he shudv bn honest from the onset n not resort to marriage if he knew he was bi/gay or not sure of his sexuality coz now ur in a predicament of your own,you even have a chid together!I say find the truth then deal with t the best way u can n try not to act out of anger,also professional help is needed inorder for you to cope.

  24. Hi Mike
    Thanx for a gr8 read always….But since uv bn back online des no option for next page or previous page after a chapter.Plz look into this.

  25. LOL the thought of two black men kissing though is rather traumatic. I am not a homophobe but ay just sounds wrong. Stay in your marriage sisi. No relationship is perfect. They all have their flaws. Sepedi sere tja malapa gadi botjane!

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