Memoirs – Chapter Nineteen

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

Greed is the downfall of most relationships as it is the men that usually want more than they are getting at home. We are content only for a while at a time but this is where our fortitude end. I was now coming up with devises for spending time with a woman other than my wife. At that time I knew deep down it was wrong but a pig will always go after what it wants even if it is bad for it. Asthandile came to me and said that she was so happy she just wanted to cuddle. She had wanted us to go away together for a while now and this was the best news ever. I asked her if it was necessary considering I had work to do and she kissed me and said yes. She reminded me that I had not held her in a long time which was true. I loved holding my wife in my arms, It made feel very protective of her. Lately between work and I don’t know what I did not do it as often. Things always seem to get in the way of taking care of the ones we love.

My wife told me that she also had good news for me, something that would make me happy she was certain. I was whispering to myself that please don’t make her be pregnant. In this economy honestly it is a miracle really when you bump into young pregnant girls and he I was a working man saying it was something we could not afford. She told me that Khanyi had organized her an interview at the company she worked. I was confused. I know they say keep your friends close and your enemies even closer but I honestly. Khanyi had too many games and this I did not like. My wife said she wanted this badly and it would be nice to work with her friend as it meant she be eased into it nicely. I told her no! I told her I was not comfortable. I asked how much she knew of Khanyi really to already be accepting jobs from her. She was shocked at that no and stood up! The cuddling was over. I could not exactly tell her that Khanyi was doing things with her husband. She wanted an explanation as to why when she finally had an opportunity I was standing in her way. I explained to her briefly that we had only agreed to her getting a job recently. She said that I was being selfish and standing in her way. She wanted to do something and she was sure she would enjoy this job. I did not have arguing points because she was making sense but I had a good reason. I said no and stood up to leave. She came and stood in front of me and demanded to know why not. There was my wife’s Xhosa side! She could stand her ground like no other person I knew. Yes she had her timid moments but when she was dead set on something she never changed her mind. I told her to get out of my way and she refused. She begged me saying that she does not want to do anything behind my back but if I was going to refuse her this opportunity she was going to do exactly that and get that job.

I left her standing there as I went to the bedroom. I had to think of something fast. If I refused she was going to go anyway which I am certain would cause more fights between. If she stayed she would resent me and it would take a longer time for us to recover from this setback. I went back to her. I told her we could try this on a temporary basis to see how she phased into the work space. She was not entirely happy this time around but she fake a smile and said thank you. I asked her if we could sit down so I could explain a few things. I told her that if she worked it meant that every night she would come home tired meaning she won’t have time for us. I also told her that working is not as easy as people might lead her to believe. It takes hard work and determination if you are still new. I also reminded her that I was looking out for her and us. She just agreed but I could see she had lost interest in this conversation. She said she needed to finish cooking. I asked her why she was not getting take out and she retorted,
“So you can complain again that I don’t cook for you!”
I had opened myself up for that one. Right on the chin. I kept quiet.

That afternoon I had bumped into an old friend of mine. His name was Bongani. We had been in the same class once upon a time but he did not complete in the same stream he had started in. I decided to call him just to catch up and take my mind of things. He said he was at home watching the news but we could talk. At times talking to the guys is quite refreshing. I asked him on the other guys that had fallen on the way side and whom he was still in contact with. All in all it was a happy conversation. We agreed that we should have dinner the four of us, meaning him and his wife and us. In my head I was telling myself that if all goes well I would have given my wife a married woman as a friend not a freelancer like Khanyi. At times having single friends is the problem. They do what you can’t do as a married person and that independence is often attractive to one who is married. I needed Khanyi out of my system.

As soon as I hung up I got an unknown number call. When I picked up it was Khanyi!
“Why did your refuse for your wife to take the job Mxolisi?”
She asked me. I asked her how she knew and that I had never denied anyone anything! She said,
“Your wife just called me to turn it down because you were not comfortable with it! What’s wrong with you?”
This woman was confusing. So my wife had turned it down! Why was I not relieved? I told Khanyi that yes the job was inappropriate under the circumstances! She laughed and said,

“You are a bit slow Mxolisi! If I give your wife the job it means that I can send her anywhere with her team on assignment meaning we have more free time to see each other! This way you don’t have to be constantly worried!”


I had not thought of that!

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I am 23 have a 3 year old daughter and I broke up with her father in 2012 and then in Jan 2013 I met this awesome guy who loved me and my daughter and he had “one” son with his “ex” who was now in London because their families didn’t approve of their relationship which I was fine with but in Sep last year his son came to visit because he wasn’t staying with him and that’s when things changed, he didn’t want me to come to his place anymore and whenever I phoned him at night he wouldn’t pick up or his phone would be off and I then found out that his “ex” was back and she had a 2month old baby boy with him and he hadn’t told me about it and our relationship went sour from then onwards then in Nov he told me that she had left and he was staying alone and I even went to his house on Xmas day but in Jan 2014 the “ex” phoned me and told me that they were still together and married and she even came to see me with him and he didn’t deny it. I have now met someone else who has been nothing but loving, supportive and kind to me and my daughter and has never said or set a foot wrong I don’t know what to do because I love both of them but I cant keep stringing one of them along when I know I can only be with one guy. I cant bring myself to dump the first guy because I truly loved him and I also love the new guy too.

Kindly advise and do not hold back in your comments

These are the places to find the audition scripts:


77 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Nineteen

  1. Yoo khayi is evil struu..thts y I dnt like keeping frnds next to my man#Tjo#A2Q ankere the first one is married nd has kids..y want to let go of a free man,who loves you nd ur dother..I would say dnt be a fool bt do the right thng number1 is taken y not go 4 the second one who shows you tht he loves you..

  2. Good stuff Mike
    @Ntombi, foget about the first guy he is married. Let the man raise his children. U found a new guy, what more do u want?

  3. Before you apologise Mike…….Uhm lemme say this, this was indeed a refreshing chapter. I honestly enjoyed it. The more your characters interact with each other , the more ‘we’ the readers can fill in the blanks like create a scene type of thing……In short this gives us an opportunity to accept the storyline as real instead of being dictacted to by one’s opnions which at times are very subjective….Again this was a good read!!!!!! For those who had a problem with my comment/s yesterday…..Jump of a cliff……..

  4. thanks Mike
    Ntombi this is as clear as day light; i agree with overcomer. guy 1 is married with kids, he used you when his wife was away and the minute she came back he ignored you – let him go and focus on your new found love and happiness, you say he is loving, supportive and kind to you and your daughter. think about your future cc and let go of the past.

  5. uKhanyi is good at this neh!!!! Q and A UYAHLANYA NA? you still want to go on with a married man who has two kids and not denying it? and you want to call that love WHAT!!!! are you nuts? You say your self that the second guy treats you well…and then what is your problem… girls like to put themselves in situations of heart break… smell the coffee honey man number 1 will never leave his baby mama for you…so get with the program..SISI!!!

  6. Khanyi is training mothobisi into being a pro… Q&A with guy one you in a relationship with yourself because the ship has sailed there he does not love and for the second guy he does and you busy focusing on things that are not there typical woman

  7. ntombi ntombi ntombi hai women mara wht is it tht is not clear to you heh? the man is married and u still confused about something tht CLEAR hai ngathi nawe u slow nje, MIss Candy my words exactly

    he ddnt deny to being married bantu benkosi wht advise do u need cc kwinto e Simple hai suka

    if u r not seeing the solution then wait for the heratbreak then u will be very sure wth to do. women like u ntombi r tooo ignorant

  8. Thanks Mike Q.A: Girl the new guy is your best bet leave the baby daddy/husband or whatever he is to this London woman

  9. Awesome writting Mike. Thanks

    To confused. 1 thing you must never do is involve you child in your r/shps. I am a mother too but i will not bring my son in2 a r/shp, yes i’ll tell the guy abt my son bt they will never meet. The only guy my son will meet is the 1 i will marry/when he’s a lil older to understand r/shps. Its traumatising to your kid 4 her 2 c diffrnt men. & please dump the married guy cos he’s jus using you unless u dont hav a problem with tht. All the best

  10. i must say m realy enjoyin this diary.
    Q&A: i thnk u shud let go of the first guy. u will b doin urself a big fava shame. move on. yhea u might hav loved him but ther is no future ther. try n move on sisi ayikho enyi ndlela

  11. Am nt a judgemental person but yho u r confusing ur daughter shame,u introduce her to all ur mates.Is this necessary coz 4 m I think the only time u introduce a child to a partner is whn u r in a serious relationship wt the prospect of stayn 2getha or gettin married nt to every Jack u fall for

  12. Ntombi… choose the guy with less baggage. The one with 2 babies and a baby mama/wife smells like trouble. RUN RUN RUN

  13. thanx mike
    You know what you have to do cause really the first guy is wait for it…….MARRIED so i think this is a no brainer stick with the one willing to be with you

  14. thanks Mike

    hhayi shame Khanyi is a devil…. but i dont blame Mthobisi, being a young house wife is soooo not attractive dz days, independent, feminine woman are very attractive and Asthandile does not even wana go down on her own husband!!! hmm them khanyis will do it for her….. A2Q, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??? url end up calling men dogs yet url let dem spill their sperms, pleasure demselves and leave!!! Sister ryt now ur nothing but a sperm beam, he doesnt love you, his using you for temporal pleasure wen his wife is overseas.

  15. you never disappoint Mike, thank u. Answer to Ntombi; sisi we u know when they say love is blind besuke besho this kinds of things, u might think man no 1 loves you but reality is you are his option and side dish when his madam is not around..i would advise that you dont stay for such bullshit, you still very young. see what man no2 has got to offer, if doesnt work out, try to be single for a while cause you might be falling for these guys kanti u just wanna close the baby daddy gap and now you think its love….

  16. Mxolisi cheating ain’tfor you nje…even I had already figured out why khanyi would hire your wife…but don’tmake her a toy in your game,don’tlet her take that job at all..belittling her like that won’tbe nice…….QnA the first guy is full of games, get over him…

  17. Ntombi like seriously this isn’t rocket science. Guy one married,taken and has kids with his wife. Guy two single, free loves you and has no lies. You still want a clearer picture / answer????

  18. dear Ntombi, plz do nt introduce ur daughter to every man u meet coz u confusing de little one with ol diz men. 4gt abt the guy with a London wife n focus on the new guy with no drama..however if it duznt work out den leave the relationship department n focus on ur self n child.

  19. thanks guys for all your comments and i must say that most of your comments have helped especially the ones pertaining to my daughter and going forth i will not introduce her to any other man unless i’m sure that we are going somewhere worth mentioning or even thinking about…thank you

  20. QnA _ Im failing to understand what advice you need..the guy came to with the wife and told you they married…what r u still doing with him he obviously made his choice you have a new guy whom YOU say loves you, forget about the married guy and focus on your new found love.

  21. Wait wait wait, so you are asking the readers to help you choose between the MARRIED man you love or the SINGLE man you love. Hmmmmmmm… tough one

    As you decide which your heart wants, please leave your daughter out of it, introducing her to every guy you meet is a one way road to disaster

  22. Tnx mike….QnA am a womn 2 but sometimes jst fail to understand, firstly tis man lied to u all along and u r stl confused wit decisions suppose to take, face reality cc man is married, obvious he hs no respect u.

  23. Khanyi is the kind of woman who makes even the devil blush. You are already screwing the man, now why belittle the wife like that? I hope Mxolisi will say no.

    A2Q: Ntombi, is this for real? Is this really your problem? If so, then u need to seek professional help, the kind of help that is usually offered by a psychiatrist.

  24. Ntombi maar u dnt even hv to b asking tht question and really thr iz nothing confusing abt your situation..first guy is married its clear tht he cldnt be with u nomatter hw mch he loved u. get over it …nw u with somone whose “perfect” in yo eyes why cant u juss love him and accept the inevitable???

  25. Nice 1 once more,A2Q u really need a punch on ur face with a chair wats wrong with u?the first loser is married n stringing u along not the other way round,n if u loved him like u say I don’t think ull be falling for the second guys please gal u still young take care of urself n ur baby

  26. Yoh Khanyi is evil shame n stupid guy is falling into this trap. A2Q: let go of this no gud guy bcs he keeps on lying to u. N giv this new guy a chance. But seems to me that u r desparat to be in a relatnship. Y dnt u take a lil break b4 moving to the nxt person?

  27. Seriously Ntombi??? Its either you’re dom or slow sister… I’m worried about the little gal that you’re confusing in all of this! I have a little gal myself and i too no longer with her daddy but i’m not rushing into anything serious at the moment i’m enjoying myself and make sure whatever i’m doing my daugher doesn’t know or see! She knows who her daddy is and tells everyone who cares to listen, which is very funny sometimes…lol! Honey, enjoy yourself and your daughter, you’re young, have fun, go out and meet new people stop stressing over this married man he’s not yours and will never be!*dropsmic*

  28. Ntombi I will be frank wth you, Lady please stop this whole game of you introducing your child to different men like this. Sisi your child should be yuor first priority in all you do seeing she is the one person who is a true part of your life. I think you tooo quicj to introduce your child to yiur male partners, why not work on a relationship that when it is clear that its the real thing then you can bring your child in. The guy with the wife overseas will never leave her fo you, she probably the one thats is lavishing his life, you are just a stand in, passing time gadget to him and sweety that is really sad. Why are you even introducing your child to the new guy already, aay aay nawe sisi, and if that too doesnt work it means it male figure number 4already to your child. Hlukan nje phansi, yekela ukuhambe ufunela ingane ubaba. That child has they own father, ukuthi you guys are not together loko akusho lutho, if the guy acknowlegdes ingane yakhe then let them build on their relationship. Wena you must deal with your own pesonal isses because the way I see it you wannna prove to the child’s father that nawe you have IT and the fat that he is not wiith you doesnt mean that there are men who will not take you along with that child. Games aside mama, nakekela umtwana wakho, deal with your men issues and honey that takes a bit of growing up to do. So yeah thats me not holding back

  29. @Q&A There’s a saying “if you fall in love with a second person, you never really loved the first”. There must be something in this new guy that attracted you to him which clearly the first guy does not have. And I’m thinking the fact that he has so much baggage has subconsciously made u realize that you can’t tie yourself down like that. In my opinion, build your relationship with the new guy and create a stability for urself and ur daughter. Lo onomntwana and is going back forth ne ex yakhe vele umyeke once love and focus on ur current relationship.

  30. Yhoo!! bitches be cray.. As a woman I refuse to trust other women completely especially if it concerns my man. 70% of women are two faced.. Can’t trust bitches

  31. Aaay mike if you have nothing to write abt its ok to stop just until u get ur groove back…what’s up with these boring short chapters now???

    Q2A…aay you too young 4 this drama… You will not die if u stay single jst 4 a little while..I mean dragging 2 guys @ ur age…awuswabi

  32. Mxolisi dat grave u digging 4 urcelf!
    QA I dnt c a reason 4 u to still lv sum1 wo lied 2 u,a married man nogal!if I wre u ill focus on building a rlshp wth sum1 wo shows u love,nd 4get da married 1

  33. Lmao aih ppl hle…let Khanyi play her game, she’s still holding the cards, can’t wait for the wife to find out n let’s see how she will deal with all this. Thnx Mike for makin us aware of such frnds. #A2Q – sisi thrs more to ur story, n stop makin excuses or findin reasons to stay wth married guy and stop comparin both guys, thn u’ll hav a clear pictr. Lovey u deserve mor so let go of the past n date New guy.

  34. Ntombi give the guy a chance 2 proove himself,if he is a bad egg u still young ul move on,on a personal note,unlie steve harvey ,i agaisnt gettin your child 2 mit evry otha guy u date,she s lil n ths myt get confusing 4 her,n a gul child is vulnerable 2 abuse,b4 being worried bwt gettin ur heartbroken worry bwt her safety,stability and the kind of childhood u want her 2 experience

  35. Sheesh I’m really not liking this Khanyi woman, ke letekatse!!

    QnA… Go for the second guy. The first one is married hle bathong, that right there should have triggered warning signalls in your head. You not in a realtionship if you have to see your man ka “timetable” nah boo it doesn’t work like.

  36. Mxolisi is gonna xolisa soon, heiy banna allow another woman to make a fool of ur wife and on top of that make decisions for ur household. ayi nooo ungenile endlini uKhanyi without knocking baba, shes in!

  37. Ntombi, leave the guy with Drama, n continue with the other guy. You r too young 2 be in such drama. So whenever u cnt get hold of him, u’ll think he’s with his ex…. Jst leave him…… All the best

  38. Ausi you just the first guy ignored u when the ex was around so why r u having problem to let go of him cause really he is just playing you it means wena ur just a replacement of the other lady when she is not around.Is up to you to decide if you want to be played or your really looking for a good relationship

  39. damn I like khanyi and her mind,very energetic makhwapheni ahahahha nice one mike and Q do u really wanna get played like that seriously as for a lady of your age with a kid (confusing n disrespecting the kid) haekhona lady know your stand u can’t be with someone who lied to your face or is it money or good sex? u worth waaaaaay morethan that just leave him

  40. I love khanyi <3 would make a fun wife well if she matures Q:A u scared aren't u? U scared of yet another failure I see people calling u slow and stuff but in reality what u trying 2 do is consume the fear of being alone u love them both I won't judge u but one thing u should do is love enough to let go hence acknowledging what anyone who truly loves deserves…is this really the love u truly know u deserve?no. 2 might do the same but give him a chance to redeem him self…go all out and leave this fear of being alone eventually u will find your knight and shining amour

  41. Do u see urslf maried 2 two men? I dnt think so. So why u dnt go to smone dat u c dat u’ve future with and stop running after a man who has already made up his mind. I wish u a gud luck sis

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