MOAYW – Chapter Thirteen

Posted on Posted in Missteps of a Young Wife


This really didn’t make sense to me, I sat down and opened the drawers just to find something anything that would explain why my husband was keeping people’s passports in our home. I knew for a fact that he was an Engineer and had no business in dealing with the administration part of work so what was all this? I opened the drawer and found forms with the details of the people in the passports their address, telephone numbers, contact person in case of emergency etc. This really didn’t make sense to me, I decided to stop snooping around and I’m sure Mthobisi had a reasonable explanation and would explain it to me when he got back. I took the pills, drank them and went to sleep.

The pills must have knocked me up because I was woken up by Andiswa who brought me coffee and breakfast. She was really amazing. I jumped up and asked her what time it was she said 09:30 she told me she had tried waking me up earlier but I was too gone so she decided to let me rest. I don’t even remember giving her a key to my place. I drank the coffee and checked my phone, missed calls from my mom and Cindy. I decided to call my mom back I was not going call Cindy I had no strength for anyone from work right now. My mom told me that they were on the way with my son and that just brightened up my morning. This was going to be a good day I was adamant to remain positive. We took the breakfast and went to the lounge I wanted to see the news so we went through all the news channels and the story running was that the rescue team had started at 6am and they were still busy, but cameras were not allowed to get close so we couldn’t really see anything and they kept interviewing the wives of some of the miners and already people were being dramatic and crying in front of cameras. It is amazing what people would do for a 2 minute fame, people would sell their grandmothers just to be on tv. This made both Andiswa and I laugh sometimes laughter even in the worst situation is just the best medication. Imagine we were laughing at the pain of others when I was going through the very same pain.
Around 14:00 my mom arrived with my stepdad and my son, I was so happy to see them. I hugged my mom and stepfather. My stepfather is the best man in the world. He brought me and my sister up as his own kids, this man would die for us! He has his other kids with his late wife 2 sons and 1 daughter, I love them from a distance, we never really got along with the daughter Linda coz she always felt like we were stealing her father away from her. Girls can be very possessive when it comes to their fathers my sister and I tried so hard to be close to Linda but she just kept pushing us away so we gave up, we saw each other on Christmas holidays and that was fine with us. His sons on the other side, Mandla and Themba were absolutely amazing, they were true big brothers they enjoyed taking care of my sister and I and when we were growing up if anyone messed with us we would report them to Mandla and Themba and they would deal with them proper. My dad on the other hand was alive he left my mom for a younger woman, you know the usual shit that men do to women. Once you get old you expire and they go looking for a new product in the shelf. My sister and I were so upset when my dad left, when a men leaves his wife and she has daughters in those little girls mind you did not just leave their mother you left the girl too, that’s how my sister and I felt for a very long time we truly resented our father for leaving “us”. At first every night we prayed that he would come back because our mother thought us the importance of prayer from a very young age. As we got older we realized he was not coming back so we prayed that the girl he was with would give him a disease that would not kill him but make him very sick and make him realise that he made a mistake by leaving us this of course never happened. I never said I was a saint! He still came around on weekends and brought us toys it made no difference we would even avoid his visits and go playing very far when we knew he was coming and come back when he was gone. One day our mother sat us down and explained that just because our father left it did not meant that he stopped loving us! If he loved us why did he leave then I argued? She explained that our father did not leave us as his kids but only left her and we did not have to feel like we were betraying her by accepting his toys or spending time with him, she told us how much we needed our father in our lives to give us a direction in life, she told us note to mess our relationship with our father because every girl needs a father in their lives, my mom is such a strong women, she put her feelings aside and made this man sound better than the monster we thought he was, but she was right and from that day on we stopped resenting our dad and saw him as a person and he would have father daughter weekends and visit him at his new home with his new girlfriend it was hard and first but we gave her a chance and she was a really nice person but not too clever, all looks and no brains but we liked her. Our mom found Victor whom we didn’t really like at first but he was so kind and gently and made our mom happy so we eventually warmed up to him and our mom would not marry Victor until we were comfortable with him. I know a lot of bad things are said about stepdad but there are really some good ones out there that don’t get any recognition and Victor was one of them. I was fortunate to have this blended family and at this moment I appreciated each and every one of them even Linda my stepsister.
Andiswa made them tea and biscuit I was so happy to see my son, I was playing with him and he was starting to talk you know one year old talk that is just gibberish but I didn’t care this was making me happy, Andiswa came and told me that she just saw on twitter that they had brought a couple of people up from underground, I jumped and switched on the TV and they were interviewing one of the rescue workers and he was saying that today was actually a good day they had rescued a lot of the men that were trapped underground, I grabbed my phone and called Pamela and she said she was not sure if Mthobisi was with the guys that were rescued and she couldn’t see the guys now as they were being checked by paramedics if they were okay but she would call me back as soon as she heard anything. I thanked her and hung up. The waiting was killing me, I couldn’t sit I kept walking up and down, Victor asked me to sit down as I was making all of them nervous, I sat and kept checking my phone every few seconds. After what felt like eternity my phone rang Pamela’s number my first words were, “Was he one of the guys rescued” and all I heard was “Hi Honey” I screamed, it was my husband he was alive, this was the happiest day of my life, I told everyone in the room that this was Mthobisi on the phone, everyone started cheering we were all soo happy, I told him my mom, Victor and our son were here. I put him on speaker he thanked my parents for their support and prayers, he said was well just exhausted and needed to rest. He asked if he could speak to me in private, I removed him from speaker and went to our bedroom.

He said to me, ”there are documents in my office that I want you to take and destroy”. I asked him what documents he told me to go to the room which he uses as the office and he would talk me through what I had to take, I grabbed his gym and went to the office, he told me to take all the passports, all the forms that I had seen the night before and there were contracts on the other drawers and he asked me to get those too, I was very confused and asked him what was going on he told me he would explain when he got home there were other men who were waiting to make calls to their families and he can’t speak for long on the phone but told me that I should make sure that I destroy all those documents “this is very important Honey”. I could hear the fear in his voice as he was telling me this, I was starting to get worried now. What has my husband gotten himself in??

****The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike

I got married 2012 December. I had dated my husband for four years at that time and I wont lie I pressured him into marriage. All my friends were getting married and at 27 I was not getting any younger. I felt he needed to step up. He is a very chilled guy and at first everything was fine. The problem is now I can start to see that he seems to be withdrawing and resentful of me. When ever we have a heated argument he says that I am the one who chose to spoil our beautiful relationship but walking down the aisle. he constantly shows me how all those friends I used to show him are either having serious problems or getting divorced. I wont lie in our four years of dating I dont recall us ever having a fight. Amazing when you see ow now he can barely stand me. What do I do now?

Please Advise


PLEASE FORWARD YOUR Q&A questions to and I will post them up

49 thoughts on “MOAYW – Chapter Thirteen

  1. Thanks Mike, so glad Mthobisi is ok, now he has to explain that mysterious call from that woman, and these docs he wants destroyed.
    A to Q: eish, that’s a sticky situation. Ouch!

  2. Q&A marriage s nt suposed to change a relationship,bth of u hv 2 sit down n air ur unhappyness 2 each otha n mtry reolve them,maybe he jst wsnt sure tht u were the 1.get councellin if neccesary cos if thins dnt change u myt end up gettin a divirce sooner or l8r

  3. Men nd their secrets gosh!!!!! Great read u guys,we r thankful to u Thoza for teaming up with Mike…this is marvellous indeed


    WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!! Such talent am out of words hey, u r really taking this to the next level! i read tht part of “HI HONEY” With a tear in my eye wow jst wow!

  5. Wow mike I’m glad u have Thozama mqikelo a chance 2 write in your blog wow this is better than great its fabulos,I found myself shedding tears while reading this blog wow this was a nice touching chapter keep up the good work guys n may GOD bless u abundantly

  6. Q&A rule number one my dear u never ever f0rce a guy into marring u aven if all ur friends are getting married. He has to say I’m ready in his own mind I’m sorry no one warned u but he wil remind u of this until he has grown maybe 30 smthing remember that guys take time to grw uP.Prob is U can’t wait for him frever n they tend to frget that I’m sorry u had to exPerience this but I know how u felt abt marriage n I can relate its ur choice rily t give him sPace n wait or meet someone who wants t be wit u.he loves u bcoz he did it to make u haPPy but it sounds he wasn’t ready or haPy u guys need t talk asaP bfore the worst can haPPen. HoPe things work out*crossing fingers*

  7. “Hi honey” thn tears roll down on my face Mthobisi is alive , im so happy ngathi hz my man….. Nice read guys cnt wait fir tomorrow

  8. hey nice read hey it gives me tym to review and view life mike u r the best in every all i cn say its that it gives sumone a homework to think can wait for mthobisi to cum back

  9. Nomvelo, u managed to make him marry u m sure u gona manage to keep him den, cc neva fost anyone to do anythin yezwa? Expecially if isizathu kuwukuthi all ur friends are doin it, u dnt get married coz u older u get married coz uv find umuntu u wana spend da rest of ur life wth, ur man loved u nd wanted to take things slow, maybe he was gona marry u someday what u can do now is relax, admit u were wrong in rushing things, show him u love him not his ring nd surname nd hope he get over being bullied into marriage he ws not ready for, coz let me tell u sista as much as woman hv control over relationships its still a mans right to ask ur hand into marriage, i knw a lot of ppl will argue dat u hv a right too nd tell u about gender equity nd guys wastin time whilst havin fun bt its their God given right, look what happened whn a woman take charge, somethings were meant to b nd will neva change in Gods eyes, good luck cc

  10. Ncooo Mthobisi is alive great….so brother explanation, wenzani ngama passports abantu?? ngathi kuthembe kangaka kanti nawe unobuqidlana…….lol

  11. U c now Mike u gona make me think twice about getting married,so much drama nje….adawise keep on writing,u r an excellent writer…big ups to u!

  12. cc Nomvelo u didn’t put a gun on his head to marry you, and gud relationship has it ups and downs he just have committment fear or he realise that he married you by mistake ,ask him what he want ,you can not stay with him if he wants to leave

  13. Aahhh!this is just awesum akere!Its proper…just makes sense!I really liked this Girls can be very possessive when it comes to their fathers”cause I am that girl,truth be told!!!!all in all,it was super,thank u guys!!!Q and A:Hai babe that man of yors need 2 grow up now…looking bc him blaming u is really not going 2 resolve anything now!He made a decision 2 marry u…focus should not be on yor friends failing or failed marriage!!da fact dat u he married u n it has been 4 yrs now…should say something 2 u!!no one said marriage was a walk in da park…he really needs 2 grow up now…my advise would be that u 2 should seek a marriage counsellor,bfore things get more sour!!All the best babes#Big Hug#

  14. Q&A. Nomvelo imishado yethu thina iba such a long process. Kyacelwa, bonwe izinkomo, kumbeswe, kwabiwe. If wayengafuni ukukushada ngabe wahluleka endleleni kungakafikwa ekubopheni ifindo, so naye wayethanda. Its jst 1 of those thingz marriage inzima cc no matter ukuthi uthole ngayiphi indlela. Ups & downs. So be strong.join support groups. Gudluck

  15. I agree with Missforeveryoung pls pls Mike think about it thandeka hatle ka wkend and missstep and memoirs during the week pls they r tooo great.anada wkend is way 2 far

  16. Consider writing this book during the week and move zulu girl to weekends..even memoirs of a black man too!!! But anyways thank you for no grammar and spelling problems

  17. Nomvelo Honey that is how life goes…you don’t do serious decisions because everyone else is doing it I mean that’s just juvenile. I know most people believe that they can plan and control life but you cannot. not everyone is gonna get married or at a certain age .
    Resentment is a really a destructive emotion I hope you can work it out.

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