MOAYW – Chapter Eight

Posted on Posted in Missteps of a Young Wife

I had to make a quick decision on whether to let him in or not. The problem is in a security complex like mine people end up talking. The shorter the time he spent at the gate the better it was for me. What did he want? I definitely was not going to give this man my honey. I had entertained this fantasy long enough. I was just going to have to wait for my husband and stick to my for better or for worse. What was wrong with me? I will tell him that as soon as he got upstairs. No more playing games I concluded. Even then I found myself tidying myself up so I looked decent. I was relieved I had chosen to wear proper pyjamas not the ones I had bought to keep Mthobisi eyes on me. Not that he noticed. I think he had become so used to me he no longer so when I was making an effort to look sexy for him. Oh well, its life.

He walked in like a kid in a candy store thinking that he was so going to get some! I asked him very coldly what he was doing her and said that he could not sleep without seeing me. I told him straight up that I did not want him coming to my place anymore because he was disrespecting my home, me and especially my husband. A man does not build his castle only for his wife to allow thieves to come raid it at will. I don’t care who says what when you have an affair and no matter what a loser your man you must still have respect not do it in his house and in his bed! Like come on. He could see I was serious but e was not getting up to leave! He asked what had gone wrong between the office a few hours ago and now? I told him that everything had gone wrong. We should never have been doing this in the first place. Have you ever seen the look on a mans face after you deny him ‘cake’. It is similar to that of a puppy seeking your attention. its sorrowful and desperate. He asked me for water so he could leave. He specified lemon water. Irritating bastard. I might as well give it to him so he could leave and I could cry my lungs out. The guilt was killing me.
Mthobisi did not deserve this. For better or for worse I reminded myself yet again. I stood up and went to the kitchen. I hate cutting lemons because the scent stays on your fingers but I did not mind. I was doing the right thing. As I was cutting the lemon something distracted me. Mfundo stood up too suddenly and I lost concentration for just one moment cutting myself in the process which made me whelp. Is that even a word! he ran over to check it out but he did not do anything lecherous. We put my hand running water and it stung like hell. Serves me right! The wound was a bit too deep. He asked if I had band aids and I said no. A black woman’s medicine cabinet only has Panado or Grandpa if you are lucky and that’s if she even has one. He said he must go get one at the garage lest it gets infected. Good idea.

He picked up his car keys and rushed out. When you are married its nice to have a man in the house. When there is an emergency you can always send him around. Where was my husband I really missed him and needed him right now. I was dead set that I would not do anything silly at this stage. It was not 5 minutes later my phone rang it was security Koketso was at the gate. Koketso is my husband’s brother’s wife, shit I didn’t know what to do, security had already told her I’m home. I told them to let her in, I dropped the phone and called Mfundo on his cell phone, his phone rang on my couch I picked it up the bastard had saved my number as “Mandla Golf Coach” but what did I expect, he couldn’t exactly save it as ”the woman I’m about to screw” okay I would worry about that later I had a situation in my hands which I needed to deal with fast. I switched Mfundo’s cell phone off in case his wife called or anyone else for that matter. How would I explain the other phone ringing to Koketso. I then went to open the door just in time for Koketso to throw herself in, this woman was not looking good at all. Something was wrong. She dressed like she was going for a jog, I had never seen her looking so disheveled for she was always prim and proper. She came in and started telling me how she suspects that her husband is having an affair he’s been coming home late and always had late meetings and work gateways. She told me she was moving in with us until she figured out what to do. Wait, what? I was sure I had misunderstood the moving in part as I was about to ask her to repeat my phone rang, shit it was security Mfundo at the gate.

Shit was about to hit the fan, if I was white my face would have turned red but thank God for the black skin that shows no emotions. I knew if Koketso suspected that I was cheating she would spread it to every member of Mthobisi’s family just to score points and I would never hear the end of this. I had to think fast but my mind was blank I couldn’t think of a lie, excuse or story. Let me give you a background history. Koketso is married to Tshepang who is Mthobisi’s older brother. Tshepang is one of those guys that have always been and will always be players. He works in a factory as a Supervisor, women love him, why I have no idea and he is not good looking at all! Maybe it’s the fact that he is in a high position you know what how power will make the ugliest person look like Brad Pitt. I will give him one thing though he is a sweet talker, he is extremely charming, he can say the most sweetest things to a woman. I have heard him a number of times smooth talk ladies and the brother has skills. In his defence though you have to be good at something if you looked liked him and a sweet tongue is not a bad place to start. You just can’t be a disaster on everything, come on now. Tshepang had a lot of girlfriends before he got married to Koketso, every weekend when Mthobisi and I would go out if he invited Tshepang he would show up with a different girlfriend. He was just one of those guys and no matter how many times I complained to Mthobisi that I didn’t appreciate his brother introducing him to so many different girls, Mthobisi would tell me that his brother is old and he can’t tell him what to do with his life. Irony is when Mthobi decided that he wanted to marry me, his parents felt that Tshepang should get married first as he is the oldest so since Koketso had told him that she was pregnant with his child he felt that she was he would be doing the right thing by marring her. They got married traditionally because Tshepang said he couldn’t afford a white wedding, Koketso didn’t care as long as her title was now Mrs and not Miss, women and marriage. Koketso was already in her 30’s so she was fearing that her biological clock is ticking and if she didn’t trap Tshepang, yes I said it, trap because her falling pregnant with his child was no mistake it was a well planned trap. As a women we all know once you get to thirty years and you are not married or are not in a Vat ‘n Sat relationship you start to worry “what is wrong with”? “when will I find the right guy”? “My biological clock is ticking, what if I can’t have kids”? Those are just the questions from yourself then you get your friends and family asking you the same stupid questions adding on the pressure. What is worse if you don’t have a child already, they will be telling you about your bones becoming hard as you grow older and that you will not be able to push a child out. Maybe someone should remind them about the Caesarean where they cut the baby out and you don’t have to worry about pushing, but when you are in that situation all your defence levels go down. Every stupid little thing they say make sense and you start questioning and doubting yourself. I guess Koketso also felt that time was against her and she had to trap Tshepang with a baby or lose him. Her plan worked and she got herself the worst husband in the world and now she was my sister in law!

I told security to let him in as I walked out with his phone. I figured I should meet him halfway so I could explain that my sister in law was there. When I got to the stair case and walked down I only noted when I got downstairs that he was not there. My building has two staircases on either end. Normally I use the same staircase but at times when some fool takes my parking and I have to park the other side I take the other stair case.

I bolted back up the stairs at such pace you could have thought I was in the Olympics. When I got there my door was opened and standing in the middle of the dining room were both Koketso and Mfundo.

As soon as I walked in Koketso said,
“Why does your friend just walk into Mthobisi’s house without knocking? Its rude!”
I should have realized he would do that as obviously was expecting him. How could I tell her that I was expecting a man at 11pm at night.
This looked bad!

****The End****
Mikeatdiary (instagram)
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike
I cant believe am actually doing this. I am a married man and am 33. My wife is 25. I have always had a soft approach with her as in I don’t demand to know her whereabouts all the time. I also allowed her to retain most of her male friends when we got married. The problem is I think its a bit much now. She is always on whatsapp. Even after we have sex the moment I turn she gets on. Who could she possibly be talking to so late! She is never home late but she is never home during the day either. On weekends its always a wedding, baby shower etc anything to get her to go out. I am thinking of following her pathetic as it might sound. I have spoken to her about this several times. I don’t believe in divorce and mere suspicion is all I have to go on. Can someone please tell me what to do. We have been married for four years.



53 thoughts on “MOAYW – Chapter Eight

  1. Top 2!!! Wow. 1st time I comment n i’m in the top 10. Guess having had an operation n being in the hospital has some perks! Yay! #einapain

  2. John, your wife is still “young” and basically all of us are addicted to our phones and she might not be cheating. She’s bored. Wena why don’t you go with her to these weddings vele? Talk to her about the phone issues but stick to the soft approach you don’t wanna seem controlling. And do follow her and see wenzani, it could be innocent.

  3. Awesome read…thanx Mike

    Q&A…I feel like she has so much freedom from your side!Be a husband,take your place and voice yourself,if you don’t like somethingtell her hle don’t let her walk all over you!!!

  4. Hey Mike nice one,as for the brother I think she’s just bored make plans n make sure that she’s in on them

  5. Answer to quiz! Poor man I feel u..ths Social Medias came in full force it makes it so difficult for partners to trust each other,nd the sad part is sumtymz its jus so difficult to do something about it! Tell that woman to get off whatsapp period,its just much as it is the cheaper way of communicating with friends,it cumz wit a lot of temptations coz obviously her “male friends” will always try they luck on her nd hit!

  6. Q&A…… Hey John,I’m in a similar situation actually,same age difference BUT we not married. I’m a very social person and my boyfriend is not. My friends and I talk until late on whatsapp and we go out for movies and lunch every first Saturday of the month and my man suspects that I’m seeing someone,he tells me often because he’s so insecure. I don’t get busy with my phone when I’m with him though because its rude being on the phone when you with someone….. I suggest you talk to your wife and tell her you don’t like how she’s always going out and always on her phone. This can really mess up a good relationship john so make means of telling your wife you’re bothered by some things!

  7. I think a gud thing 2 do is wat iam doing with my bf no chattin wen we r 2geda no matter hw srs it is.If dat prsn need me wil cal,u cnt get bored wen u r wt ur man.Respect comes 1st in a rltionship.

  8. Thank you so much Mike. The first time this came I didn’t really like it because I loved diary so much but now I’ve fallen in love with Missteps. Thanks for giving us something to read while we wait for Diary. 🙂

  9. I’ve been reading your blog since Chapter 1 of DOAZG, and I’ve never commented even once! But I really feel I need to manje cause really, you are doing an AMAZING job keeping us entertained..even on weekends now!! Wow, THANK YOU sooooooooo much Mike!!

    QnA, I feel your pain. I was engaged to a guy who was constantly on his phone, I used to voice my concern until one day I stopped cause it sounded like I was nagging. Anyway, let her know what’s in your heart and mind. Communication is key!!

  10. Mike please discontinue tired black man, it sux. Bhut we qNa, I’m not married but i spend a lot of time on whatsapp n twitter. Most of that time I’m talking to my mom or brother. Do ask who she is always talking to but don’t be too fast into suspecting cheating.

    1. Jellybean, maybe you should stop reading Memoirs instead of asking Mike to discontinue. If it sux that much to you, remember you don’t need to be selfish because some of us enjoy it!! Anyway Mike is giving us some light as women on why men cheat!! We wanna know and understand men!!!

  11. Thanks Mike, so much for the much anticipated shag. It’s obviously not happening anymore not in this house or tonight anyway.
    A to Q: set boundaries and rules between you and vrou. When you guys are together catching up on the going on’s zosuku, it’s best to put the phones eceleni and just talk. Chatting even after doing the dance is a bit extreme, maybe there should be a chatting curfew, honestly. The hanging out with friends thing shouldn’t be an issue, again if it’s done in moderation. If it’s going to be every weekend, there’s something going on, then it doesn’t leave any time for you guys to hang out together bakithi. Hhayi usedlala kabi losisi bo!

  12. Thanks Mike! U r spoiling us terribly.
    John this may sound drastic but follow your instinct & find out what is happening BUT before u do that know how u will react to whatever u find. Wanting to find out & finding out is not the same thing, so decide beforehand how u will handle yourself given any situation.

  13. Mike well done keep it up you are improving…QnA how can there be a wedding baby shower etc every weekend??after doing the dance you’re on watsapp no!!! Hubby call her to order if you want to keep your wife set boundaries spend time with her accompany her to these weddings and baby showers haibo lo sisi

  14. Mike, this is fantastic!
    Talk to your woman about how you feel. Make her see it from your point of view, especially if you were to do it. It might be innocent and that doesnt mean its right to be on the phone when you r with someone. My question is: Are you not happy that she is forevere on phone or you are suspecting that she might be cheating? You may need to get these questions answered…….you better know what to do given any outcome!

  15. Well done Mike , please keep it up.

    Q&A- These isnt much information about you or her, nor fun activities that you guys do as a couples besides the dance.Please allow me to assume.

    Just try and think what a 25year is into these days.*fashion*social networks*socialising*entertainment*(what activities do you have to offer her as her husband?)

    Rather telling her to stop socialising on whatsupp ,ask her what pleasure does she derive from it and what could you do as her husband to minimize her need for the outside world .Ask her to adapt to the things you like and you do the same.Married or not we dont function the same.

  16. Hi mike,please make sure you double check every chapter before you post it here.I cringe everytime i see spelling mistakes(which happens on every post)…..

  17. Thank you for this book Mike, I truly love it nd I partly relate with some of the lady’s challenges. Thank u for bringing it back.

    QnA: Mr if u not firm in yo house hold someone else will take charge, please stand yo ground and don’t let yo woman do as she pleases. As women we, me included, hv a tendency of undermining our partners especially the so called “understanding ones”. Firstly if u married y must you have so many friends that keep u away from yo partner ngoba u shud be one another’s friends for the sake of peace and to make the relationship stronger. social media is a relationship breaker Period

  18. Hei Mike. My favourite person in the whole milky way. Thanx for bringing back MOAYW. Gr8 read as always.
    Jellybean – SHUT UP!
    Zinzi – until u start ur own blog where u post a chapter for three different books every morning, SHUT THE H UP!
    Now A2Q- John lovey, sometimes we need a man to be firm on the things he doesn’t like. Don’t b a dictator, but be firm and mean what u say. Tell her u don’t like her chatting during the tym u r home and wen u want to spend time wth her, and say it every time she touches tht phone. As for outings, I agree wth evryone, accompany her and come up wth things u can do together to keep her entertained. Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t check her phone (bad move).
    Thanx again Mike. U r the best, and we don’t mind the mistakes. We understand.

  19. I dnt understand some ppl really,hw can u say discontinue (tired black man) as if ur da only one who reads it,u dnt like dnt read simple as that,dnt b rude we r all human bonke ubuhlungu buya enhliziywen,if ufisa ukugxeka,gxeka ngendlela eyakhayo

  20. Thanks Mikeesto awesome read.
    John my bra I feel for you, even after sex she be on her whattsapp.hayi ndoda kuzomele kucace ukuba nguban onxiba ubhrukwe kwelo khaya. You need to stamp your authority coz this whole soft approach is detrimental to your wellbeing.

  21. different strokes for different folks. once again, I Looooooooooooooove this blog………. awesomeness nje. Don’t discontinue any of these diaries Mr Mike.

    If you don’t like it, just don’t read it, simple……

    Thank you Mike 🙂

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