The moment you start doing things you are not supposed to be doing in a relationship problems start. They might not be as a direct consequence but they start. That’s fact. Fear of getting caught is actually what drives you to getting caught because instead of acting normal you over compensate. Twice now I had done that. That sms had not been necessary when I sent it because we were so chilled at that moment. My wife had made up her mind about all that we had discussed! When she says she is tired and we will talk about it later normally it means the conversation is over! I knew that fight was lost so what could I do now?
Panic gives you strength! I dashed so fast for that phone and knocked it out of her hand in the process! It shattered into so many parts. People love their phones never underestimate that bond. At first my wife just froze mid sentence as she was not quite sure if what had happened really had happened! I am not a violent person but at that moment I pushed her unwittingly with my momentum and she fell back into her beloved couch. I had completely taken her by surprise she fell over backward but it was not into a hard surface at least. She screamed at me first what had gotten over me and secondly asked me what it is I had to hide so badly! I had just tipped her off! I had to come up with something quick! I turned it around on her? One thing that men are really good at is turning the story on its head! I accused her of wanting to check her phone when I was telling her that I am having problems with our nonexistent sex life! I screamed and shouted at her saying that she was not concerned about our marriage anymore just her couches and curtains! The best kind of lie is one with a bit of truth in it right? I guessed I had bottled up feelings about all this so I just exploded. I wanted to stop myself but the words kept on coming out. At some point I just walked outside into the yard to breathe. I had not seen that one coming nor had she for she just stood there now crying.
The first thirty minutes after that the anger in me was genuine but as the time went on I started feeling bad. Loving someone does that to you I should not have done that nor said all these things. She had not come outside after me meaning I had really hurt her. Yes we had issues to resolve but the way I had behaved was certainly not the way to handle it. When I walked into the house she had moved from the sitting room to the kitchen. She was cooking! Remember I said my wife does not cook yet there she was! I am sure even the stove was surprised to be switched on at this time. I was not sure whether it was because of me or what. I am a Xhosa man and I know our women, what if she was boiling water for me! Again I panicked! I had heard so many stories of men whom were given the ultimate revenge by their women through boiled water or worse, hot cooking oil! If your wife doesn’t cook what would you think! African women don’t really do poison, that’s for white people! Poison demands that she has to read what’s outside the box so eh not for us!
I went to the kitchen but made sure I did not stand too close! I made sure I did not stand at any place that would trap me should I need to escape. She was crying silently as she chopped onions and the rest. I did feel bad. I had overreacted. I could always have said it was Daluxolo who slept over! I had made a situation worse! Silly me indeed! I apologized to her for snapping and told her it was the work stress getting to me. She said absolutely nothing to me in return. My wife was like that. When she was angry she chose not to speak. She often argued that things said in anger often take the longest to heal so rather keep quiet. She had not picked up her phone and I could see all the parts still scattered where I left them. I went to pick them up but made sure I did not give her my back! Why did I not trust my wife all of a sudden when I was the one in the wrong? I had just become that man who beats up his wife by accusing her of things that he is doing himself! If a man comes home and accuses you of cheating out of the blues then he is probably the one cheating!
I did not what to do. She was not saying anything. Again I apologized but the woman simply ignored me. What to do now? Eish! I had not hit her. I believe men who hit a woman have to be the lowest form of scum. Women can make you angry that’s so true but to reach the point of hitting her…nope that’s not correct at all! However, my actions now were similar to that.
After a full hour and a half she took my dinner and put it on the table. She even made up the table. It reminded me of when I was young on New Years Eve on TV they always played this most boring of shows called “Dinner For One”. She looked at me and said,
I looked at her with so much fear in my eyes that much I won’t lie and I asked why she was not eating? She responded,
“I lost my appetite!”
Heh banna! Now what? I don’t think it crossed her mind for one moment that I was absolutely terrified of her at that moment! If I had a dog I would have given it the food. That’s what they do in the movies!
She then said,
“Why are you not eating? I am here to slave for you and just open my legs right? You hate the curtains I spent so much time looking for and the couches you helped me choose so am useless in your eyes!”
She started sobbing again! Those bloody couches again!
What was I supposed to do now! Regret!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
My name is Alexandre am 31 years and my boyfriend is 30 years of age I meet him via a mutual friend but we didn’t start dating immediately it took us 12 weeks before we started to date! We use to chat on a daily basis and during that time he never even once said he likes me or anything like that. I however enjoyed our conversations till july last year and it is then we met and went for the first date which was great and things started from there. My problem with him is he doesn’t answer my questions whenever we talk especially when we have an argument. He will just keep quiet or go to bed or tell me he will call later or he is not in court to be answering questions but when he ask me questions he wants me to answer him and if am not he will ask me if I don’t trust him? I hate that I have spoken to him numerous time about this how it makes me feel but he doesn’t want to change is now 8 months together and he has proposed to me on valentine which it was beautiful.
He have introduced me to his parents and I have met all his friends and I even went to the Uk and Switzerland to meet two of his cousins. But this issue of him not answering my questions bothers me so much he does that all the time but he doesn’t want it when I do it to him. So please am I asking too much because I don’t want to live my life with regrets.