The problem with women is that they never want to hear the truth even if it hits them in the face over and over again. Men cheat! Its not a secret nor is it something people whisper about in hidden corners. Some facts don’t need to be justified so I am not trying to justify my actions. Did you know that men in general would rather date you forever than actually marry you? Well if you didn’t here are some of the reasons! One, marriage is just a headache that is designed to kill the spirit of both of us. You just refuse to see it because by the time you reach 25 already there is pressure from your family and peers to do the so called right thing! Even if your own mother is no longer with your dad she prays that you will get married to a good man and encourages you to do so actively. Question is, how will you succeed where she failed and she is the wiser one remember? Food for thought and yes, uncomfortable truth! Secondly as men we often question ourselves what happens to the girl we fell in love with the moment you come back from the honeymoon. All of a sudden you are this serious person, woman , thing you name it and you no longer do a lot of things because it is not appropriate for a married woman! You even discover church so that you can hang out with old women so you can discuss how to come bore us at home! That fear of this reality haunts most men and from the guys I have spoken to they all say that “she is not the same girl I dated mate!”
Ok I felt kind of stupid after I said that. I was not following her like I was a dog in heat but I was following her because to be honest who wants to sit at home alone on Friday evening. Its not like my wife goes away often and when she is here most likely we will be sitting at home together. She hardly ever wants to go out but maybe that is because am not the most happy go chap out there. My wife and I had grown up in different environments. I went to university in Cape Town and had access to world class clubs, malls, restaurant and tourist destination in comparison to her who the furthest she had gone academically was Umtata. She was your typical kasi girl who loved a chesa nyama or chill session as entertainment and to her car wash was considered a cool event. We grew up in the same township yes but for me growing up we didn’t have a car at home so I never had occasion to find myself at the car wash. In the township a car wash attracts all the beautiful girls for some reason even though most of them don’t even own cars and most of them don’t even have a license! Its like those music video girls, you not there to sing but to make up the numbers of cheap thighs on set then you go around thinking you are a celebrity!
Khanyi did not seem surprised that I wanted to go with her. We decided that we should use different cars so as not to be seen as though we were arriving together and worse leaving together. All I had to do was follow. The girl drives like a maniac to be honest! We went to a house party in Strand. It was fun and relaxed even the crowd there was unfamiliar to me. We didn’t speak work stuff even. It was just good old fashioned fun. I normally do not drink and drive but the party was one that it was hard not to. There was a proper balance between dancing and talking. I noticed that a lot of people had rings on their fingers but no one coupled up! It was odd. I think the only one awkward tonight was me. Marriage tends to take you out of the game. You lose touch with reality outside of what happens at work and in your marriage. Its not the nicest thing. It was nice to be out like this with no worry in the world. I know for a fact most men miss the freedom of bachelorhood. Imagine having a moment to breathe without someone telling you what to eat, where, when and what to wear? You move out of your parents home to avoid your mother from controlling everything you do to moving in with her replacement! When men have a midlife crisis its not a lame excuse, its a desperate attempt to try rediscover whom they were! Problem I feel is that men are reaching this midlife crisis very early in their marriage as opposed to in their mid forties back in the day!
At some point the party died down. I had to go. I did not want to find myself sleeping on a couch when I had perfectly good house and bed I can go to. I went looking for Khanyi but I could not find her. I made the effort. On my way out I found her car was still in the driveway. She was inside but she had passed out. I tried to wake her up but she was out cold! I went and spoke to the host of the party and told him that I would be driving home with her but wanted to leave her car. Considering that we had not arrived together it was very odd that he didn’t even ask many questions. He just asked me to park the car on the lawn to clear the driveway. A part of me should have left her but to be honest I had come with her, regardless of who drove what and I was partially responsible for her well being!
The best sex is drunk sex because you have no boundaries! However, and this is true, you don’t have drunk sex with your wife! Its disrespectful! Those were the thoughts going through my head when I was driving home. I won’t lie I was turned on by this drunk woman in my car. They don’t tell you in the brochure that marriage kills your sex life and you can never experience sexual variety again unless you cheat. Your wife you treat like a queen. With this 50\50 stuff even a domestic technician will tell you that there things she won’t do in bed. My wife for example totally ruled out doggy. I know it sounds petty of me but I had tried to negotiate but you know there is a lot of things beautiful women simply say they won’t do. That was one of my sacrifices in the name of love.
Eventually I got to my house! I was not going to take advantage of her no matter how much she turned me on. I debated whether to wake her up and have her wear something else but I felt it would be too much of an inconvenience. I made sure I gave her the bedroom furthest to mine. I did not want drama.
Eventually I got ready for bed and was out in moments. In the morning I woke up to the smell of breakfast in the kitchen. I think she was making something for herself.
When I walked in I was stunned to find her wrapped in just a towel. I don’t think she expected me up that early to be honest so no she was not trying to seduce me. I think she had taken a swim or something but wow she looked good.
I just wanted to see more of what was under that towel!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
I am a 28 year old lady, my question that I would like the readers to help me with today is rather a question that we as ladies battle with everyday. Each and everyday we are reminded that we are very different from men, hence the reason why they cheat a lot, and without emotions THEY SAY. I unfortunately lost my dad when I was quite young , so I will be raising my opinion on other families that I grew around with. I have seen the tendency of men being unfaithful in their marriages, but as they grow older it tends to stop. As far as I can remember growing up I used to hear old ladies saying “Indoda Iyaqonywa”. My question is am I really delude into having such expectations that men do and will always cheat, or is a faithful something we see in tvs only. I have notice a trend that a lot of girls have become expecting of this fact, is it something that we girls tend to come to terms with as we grow older, or is it that when we become older we become desperate to have someone.
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