Nothing motivates a man more than being called a child by a woman, any woman in fact. It hurts more if its a woman you are sleeping with. That is like asking him why he has such a small dick in the middle of sex. Believe me that would crush a man’s spirit and haunt him forever. There is no doubt that most men behave like children and feel entitled to a lot of things just as kids do. We always seem to want more and do not often think through the consequences. We will rather react to a situation than actually prevent it when it involves a woman and getting some. There is a reason why they say the truth hurts so calling a man a boy, well, I live that up for debate. When she called me that I saw read. My first instinct was to shout at her for the ultimate disrespect but as I redialed I changed my mind, needed to play it cool. When you are having an affair with someone you actually don’t realize until they have this uncanny power over you. They are like a drug and you want more and more. Yes you will complain about the mind games but to be fair that mysteriousness in them is what intrigues you. This is what makes you fall deeper into them. They never make you settle into a routine. That’s why you always want more.
She picked up the phone with so much attitude I thought she would hang up again immediately. She asked me if I had decided to man up of which again I bumbled through it like the boy she had said I am. I told her she must stop this nonsense if we were to continue this of which she retorted that she never said there was anything between us. That’s what power does. That arrogance that can break you! Most men in relationships are the ones in charge and in control of the relationship and that’s why their women run after them even if they are shit partners. All men know that. Its therefore poetic justice when it is her that takes that power and you are left wanting more. She told me that she wanted me to make it up to her. Obviously I said yes. She said she will give me a time and place when she will call in the debt. I was intrigued. A woman who played games and was good at it. I was up for the challenge!
When I put down my phone my wife called and said she wanted to pass through my office. She needed money for something as her account had a swiping limit. For the first time in our marriage I told her that no! What now? I told her she shops too much and is wasting money. I think she was shocked by the way I said no because she always got things her way. It was very unlike me to snap at her. I was actually embarrassed at myself. I could feel that slowly I was changing. Why would I shout at the girl I had loved so much to turn into my wife? Khanyi was changing me but at the time it did not register. I think this is the worst think about an affair. You lose sight of the your goals. I had been with my wife for so many years both in high school, university and now marriage yet Khanyi came less than two months ago and already I was chasing after her. That is the weakness in a man. We forget what we worked so hard to build in a moment and chase after illusions. I hung up the phone and told her to call me when there was an emergency for shopping for more curtains was not it!
When I got home I found my wife sitting on the table. There was a home cooked meal on the stove. This was the second time now she had cooked and a couple of days. She was on fire. I was about to compliment her when I noted that she seemed as though she had been sitting there for hours. She looked very worried indeed. I asked what was wrong and she said she was sorry. I did not understand what she meant. I asked her what she was talking about of course as I took off my tie. She said that this morning when she had called me wanting to go shopping she had not expected the response I gave her and how I had given it. I told her that the conversation was over that was this morning so what was she sorry for. She said she knew why I had said no and that it was her fault. I asked what it was then and she responded by saying that she had hurt me by accusing me of cheating. She said she should have known better and for that she apologized. She told me how she knew she had a good man on her hands and she did not want to spoil that by petty jealousy. Women women women! God bless them indeed! When it comes to money she can look for every excuse in the bible to justify her wanting it except for the one that was in her face, stop shopping! I looked for a moment and decided to milk it whilst I still could. I told her that I was not happy about how she had handled it. To call another woman to ask on me had been such a low blow. Surely she would make her friends think I am promiscuous just by that. She told me that she had not thought it through when she did it but this was the last time. I told her I was fine but my answer to the shopping was still no. We had to save for a holiday!
A holiday? Even I had not thought that through. You could see she was excited for she jumped up and hugged me and started asking me where I was taking her! All was forgotten yet again. Women love travelling and most of them take it like you are rewarding her for something. If you haven’t been laid yet by your girlfriend take her on a holiday and she will shag you till you turn blue. I don’t know why seeing a different place is so intriguing. Shopping I understand, you buy new things and your wardrobe and options increase. A holiday on the other hand, a decent one that is, hotels and flights alone you are looking at nothing less than ten thousand for two people. Imagine all the shopping you can do with that? Moreover we were already in Cape Town, most South Africans version and closest thing to being ‘overseas’ so where could we go?
In my mind however, now that I had to take Khanyi out I needed to pamper her, most women respond to that. They love trinkets and being spoilt. This would soften her a bit. Call me a boy really? She will see what I was made of. I had it all figured out as the plan evolved in my head!
If therefore I stopped my wife from shopping it meant that there was enough money saved up at home for both wife and my side dish! Well played!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Unjani baba. I am married to a good woman and as the mother of my child I love her. I drink but not too much. I am never home after eight so I try make sure that I stay out of problems. We have been married for four years. My problem is my wife is violent. She has a short temper and she can even throw a pot at you if it suits her at that moment. I am a clerk at work and once a female colleague called around seven at night asking where I had left keys for one of the offices at work. My wife assumed it was a mistress and she hit me hard with a broom handle it broke! I didn’t even see it coming. I am genuinely scared one day she will kill me. I can’t leave her with my child so divorce is hardly an option. I can’t even bring up the issue of her seeing someone for fear of her killing me in my sleep. I know other men will laugh at me and many relatives hers included both male and female have said I must give her one good beating and she will respect me as the man of the house! I am not that man. It is wrong to hit a woman and much as I want to put her straight, the thought of doing this really does not sit well with me. She will probably pour hot porridge on me if I do that in any case the way she is so vengeful. How do I keep my family together without allowing myself to be a punching bag?