If a man loves someone his heart belongs to her and her alone. You can cook him diamond encrusted soup in a platinum pot and can even do monkey style positions in bed but if he does not belong to you then just forget it. However, that very same guy much as he will come home to you every night every night does not mean that he will not take chances that present themselves on a silver platter like in this situation. Men act on instict. Its a bad thing if you are a woman but to men its a survival instinct. Again this is a fact that women don’t want to hear! Most women call it being chauvinistic when men confess to it but unless they wake up to this and take out that finger stuck up their behind then they will face reality and perhaps come up with a way to counter it. You see women are so caught up with whining about what a real man should or should not do not forgetting that they don’t own that man. They should be more concerned with what to do if their man does something, what’s the next step or even how to prevent it. Contrary to popular belief, men don’t just sleep with anyone, especially married men. There are some women, some even beautiful that can throw overtures our way and we won’t even blink. Surprise! Those are the ones we will gladly throw under the bus and report to you that she made a move on me. To you am such a saint for being honest but to me I am buying favor so that the one you really should suspect you turn a blind eye to focusing on the bitch after your man!
I drove her to buy the bikini as I think she still had a bit of hangover. We didn’t buy anything fancy, Mr Price. Billabong had them for r700 just imagine. I kid you not go check for yourself. It was not meant to be a big deal hence nothing major, we bought meat and charcoal as was standard and that was that. The “girls” as she called them brought the rest. We had a few bottles of wine from a previous engagement but we bought two more just to add on. As women get older they think that drinking wine makes them more sophisticated and classy. Alcohol is alcohol, you get drunk and go piss it out! Fact! I don’t know who told them that, maybe its the wine glasses that look so pretty. Everything was set for a chilled Saturday and I liked it like this. At home with the woman I love.
It was so hot yet again. Cape Town has such moments. As soon as the girls got there my wife went to put on her new bikini and sarong. As the host she had to take the lead and make them comfortable. I never for one moment said my wife was conservative. She was very comfortable with her own body and was not threatened by too many women. She was confident and I loved that about her. Ironically the one who was more reluctant to get into the water was Khanyi because I noted they had to coax her out of her shorts. Alcohol really is a great leveler for it took a few drinks to get her there and even then she was nervous. If it was a ploy it worked because by the time she took off her shorts I was really looking forward to it. I had become so used to seeing one woman’s body for so long seeing two new fresh never been seen before bodies was like seeing a girl naked for the first time. Men like I said earlier are visual beings and when we don’t see something new for a while we get antsy and hostile. Women on the other hand need each other to gain courage. Its very rare to find a woman doing something considered risque by herself, she always needs others to be there to make it alright.
The one thing you have to appreciate about Xhosa women is that they are not shy. We are not like Zulus who in the name of tradition can dress half naked yet act all shy when it comes to wearing short skirts and so on. Nah, our colours are out there for all to see. Our women are not like Pedis either who are fiercely conservative and terrified of their own bodies. Xhosa women are full of live and try dominate situations. Its just how we are raised. If I was in my younger days I swear I would be taking pictures but I was past that now. Old age does that to you. I think the problem with this picture was that there should have been more guys. I was outnumbered. My wife kept coming to check up on me but I was fine really.
The braai was nice to be honest. I made sure I stayed as far away from the girls as possible. I was either on the braai stand most of the time or checking on my notes. Like I said I had a bit of work to do so fortunately they respected that space. With married women I noted that they are not really into music, they prefer the sound of their own voices. They were discussing something to do with curtains or interior decor I am not sure, was not really interested. Daluxolo, my colleague from work, called and asked if he could come drop off some document. I didn’t have a problem with that. When he came I told him my wife was having friends over. He had met her before but I felt a bit nervous because another man seeing my wife in a bikini, eh, that didn’t sit well. I guess I am conservative after all. Note the double standard. I didn’t mind seeing my wifes friends in the semi nude but I definitely minded my friends seeing my wife. Fortunately he just said hello and left.
The problem with staying in a big city is that there are always events taking place. Its not like living in King Williams Town were there absolutely nothing happening concerts or otherwise. In a city like mine there was always something happening. Khanyi worked for a company that brought in events so she had extra tickets. I heard her ask my wife to invite me next time so we can all have fun and the tickets were free. I knew what my answer should have been but obviously it would not be the answer I would give. She said she had no date so she was coming with Bulelwa of which the latter said definitely yes. When you are married your husband should never become “one of the girls”! I know your friends will tell you how sweet he is, a good listener even but once you feminize him you will mosy likely share him at some point.
When the girls were tipsy they starting walking back and forth to the bathroom. They had to walk past me meaning that I got plenty an eyeful. No one did anything out of the ordinary but the longer the day went on the more I got to daydream as well as compare. Bulelwa was light skinned but not the prettiest. She reminds me of most yellow bones, they look pretty at first sight but when you take a second look dark skinned girls actually look better. That’s where Khanyi came in, this Nubian dark skinned princess. She was not the prettiest to be honest but there was just something about her. The way she laughed and carried herself just made me want to look at her more. It was just a crush, a harmless crush I hoped. Yes, married men have crushes too especially at work. There is always that one woman you look at different! We are human after all.
In Cape Town the sun sets late. 7pm and its still as bright as day except in winter of course. Somehow we didn’t calculate that the alcohol would finish so fast. As they were all drinking I was the only in a state to drive. Khanyi asked for smokes and went to her purse to look for money. I don’t know who suggested it but the plan changed and I was asked to go with her.
She changed into shorts and a loose fitting tshirt. To be honest she looked really good. On the way she asked me how the married life was and if it was as fun as people pretend it to be. I told her of course especially if you are in love with the person. I could hear she was flirtingly and I flirted back. She brought up how the sexlife will become sterile at some point. It was all good humour to be honest because this was unlike the stuff people in the office spoke about. When it comes to marriage a lot of people wonder what happens to your sex life after a while. Its the part they don’t tell you in the honeymoon brochures that once its routine it becomes mechanical. Its the part that makes most men fear commitment with such zest. Its universal and not unique to South African man. We bought all we needed and headed back.
In the garage after we parked the car, she stopped me, walked up to me and kissed me! Not a peck. She kissed me then walked into the house.
I have never heard of a man who screams for help or pushes a woman off in such a moment. I just stood there.
The question was to tell my wife or not? I had done nothing wrong. She kissed me not the other way round. When I walked into the house I found her hugging my wife as though nothing had happened.
Tomorrow morning I will tell my wife I don’t want her friends over anymore!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am so bored in my marriage. We do the same things everyday and no matter how much I try to encourage my husband for us to have hobbies he always says he is tired. I don’t know what to do anymore. Am I being selfish by wanting more out of life than just tending to my lazy husband? We both work office jobs and are four years apart in age. Its putting a strain on us I feel. Does anyone have advice on what I should do to get him off the couch?
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