Memoirs – Chapter Five

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

If a man loves someone his heart belongs to her and her alone. You can cook him diamond encrusted soup in a platinum pot and can even do monkey style positions in bed but if he does not belong to you then just forget it. However, that very same guy much as he will come home to you every night every night does not mean that he will not take chances that present themselves on a silver platter like in this situation. Men act on instict. Its a bad thing if you are a woman but to men its a survival instinct. Again this is a fact that women don’t want to hear! Most women call it being chauvinistic when men confess to it but unless they wake up to this and take out that finger stuck up their behind then they will face reality and perhaps come up with a way to counter it. You see women are so caught up with whining about what a real man should or should not do not forgetting that they don’t own that man. They should be more concerned with what to do if their man does something, what’s the next step or even how to prevent it. Contrary to popular belief, men don’t just sleep with anyone, especially married men. There are some women, some even beautiful that can throw overtures our way and we won’t even blink. Surprise! Those are the ones we will gladly throw under the bus and report to you that she made a move on me. To you am such a saint for being honest but to me I am buying favor so that the one you really should suspect you turn a blind eye to focusing on the bitch after your man!

I drove her to buy the bikini as I think she still had a bit of hangover. We didn’t buy anything fancy, Mr Price. Billabong had them for r700 just imagine. I kid you not go check for yourself. It was not meant to be a big deal hence nothing major, we bought meat and charcoal as was standard and that was that. The “girls” as she called them brought the rest. We had a few bottles of wine from a previous engagement but we bought two more just to add on. As women get older they think that drinking wine makes them more sophisticated and classy. Alcohol is alcohol, you get drunk and go piss it out! Fact! I don’t know who told them that, maybe its the wine glasses that look so pretty. Everything was set for a chilled Saturday and I liked it like this. At home with the woman I love.

It was so hot yet again. Cape Town has such moments. As soon as the girls got there my wife went to put on her new bikini and sarong. As the host she had to take the lead and make them comfortable. I never for one moment said my wife was conservative. She was very comfortable with her own body and was not threatened by too many women. She was confident and I loved that about her. Ironically the one who was more reluctant to get into the water was Khanyi because I noted they had to coax her out of her shorts. Alcohol really is a great leveler for it took a few drinks to get her there and even then she was nervous. If it was a ploy it worked because by the time she took off her shorts I was really looking forward to it. I had become so used to seeing one woman’s body for so long seeing two new fresh never been seen before bodies was like seeing a girl naked for the first time. Men like I said earlier are visual beings and when we don’t see something new for a while we get antsy and hostile. Women on the other hand need each other to gain courage. Its very rare to find a woman doing something considered risque by herself, she always needs others to be there to make it alright.

The one thing you have to appreciate about Xhosa women is that they are not shy. We are not like Zulus who in the name of tradition can dress half naked yet act all shy when it comes to wearing short skirts and so on. Nah, our colours are out there for all to see. Our women are not like Pedis either who are fiercely conservative and terrified of their own bodies. Xhosa women are full of live and try dominate situations. Its just how we are raised. If I was in my younger days I swear I would be taking pictures but I was past that now. Old age does that to you. I think the problem with this picture was that there should have been more guys. I was outnumbered. My wife kept coming to check up on me but I was fine really.

The braai was nice to be honest. I made sure I stayed as far away from the girls as possible. I was either on the braai stand most of the time or checking on my notes. Like I said I had a bit of work to do so fortunately they respected that space. With married women I noted that they are not really into music, they prefer the sound of their own voices. They were discussing something to do with curtains or interior decor I am not sure, was not really interested. Daluxolo, my colleague from work, called and asked if he could come drop off some document. I didn’t have a problem with that. When he came I told him my wife was having friends over. He had met her before but I felt a bit nervous because another man seeing my wife in a bikini, eh, that didn’t sit well. I guess I am conservative after all. Note the double standard. I didn’t mind seeing my wifes friends in the semi nude but I definitely minded my friends seeing my wife. Fortunately he just said hello and left.

The problem with staying in a big city is that there are always events taking place. Its not like living in King Williams Town were there absolutely nothing happening concerts or otherwise. In a city like mine there was always something happening. Khanyi worked for a company that brought in events so she had extra tickets. I heard her ask my wife to invite me next time so we can all have fun and the tickets were free. I knew what my answer should have been but obviously it would not be the answer I would give. She said she had no date so she was coming with Bulelwa of which the latter said definitely yes. When you are married your husband should never become “one of the girls”! I know your friends will tell you how sweet he is, a good listener even but once you feminize him you will mosy likely share him at some point.

When the girls were tipsy they starting walking back and forth to the bathroom. They had to walk past me meaning that I got plenty an eyeful. No one did anything out of the ordinary but the longer the day went on the more I got to daydream as well as compare. Bulelwa was light skinned but not the prettiest. She reminds me of most yellow bones, they look pretty at first sight but when you take a second look dark skinned girls actually look better. That’s where Khanyi came in, this Nubian dark skinned princess. She was not the prettiest to be honest but there was just something about her. The way she laughed and carried herself just made me want to look at her more. It was just a crush, a harmless crush I hoped. Yes, married men have crushes too especially at work. There is always that one woman you look at different! We are human after all.

In Cape Town the sun sets late. 7pm and its still as bright as day except in winter of course. Somehow we didn’t calculate that the alcohol would finish so fast. As they were all drinking I was the only in a state to drive. Khanyi asked for smokes and went to her purse to look for money. I don’t know who suggested it but the plan changed and I was asked to go with her.

She changed into shorts and a loose fitting tshirt. To be honest she looked really good. On the way she asked me how the married life was and if it was as fun as people pretend it to be. I told her of course especially if you are in love with the person. I could hear she was flirtingly and I flirted back. She brought up how the sexlife will become sterile at some point. It was all good humour to be honest because this was unlike the stuff people in the office spoke about. When it comes to marriage a lot of people wonder what happens to your sex life after a while. Its the part they don’t tell you in the honeymoon brochures that once its routine it becomes mechanical. Its the part that makes most men fear commitment with such zest. Its universal and not unique to South African man. We bought all we needed and headed back.

In the garage after we parked the car, she stopped me, walked up to me and kissed me! Not a peck. She kissed me then walked into the house.

I have never heard of a man who screams for help or pushes a woman off in such a moment. I just stood there.

The question was to tell my wife or not? I had done nothing wrong. She kissed me not the other way round. When I walked into the house I found her hugging my wife as though nothing had happened.

Tomorrow morning I will tell my wife I don’t want her friends over anymore!

***The End****

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike
I am so bored in my marriage. We do the same things everyday and no matter how much I try to encourage my husband for us to have hobbies he always says he is tired. I don’t know what to do anymore. Am I being selfish by wanting more out of life than just tending to my lazy husband? We both work office jobs and are four years apart in age. Its putting a strain on us I feel. Does anyone have advice on what I should do to get him off the couch?

Thank you



140 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Five

  1. Is this a story about a man bragging about cheating ? Who takes pride in that? Mina that’s why I only enjoy diary & confessions because its everyday stories & no one there is bragging or putting someone down. They make it easier for readers to understand. Manje how are we supposed to understand this from rags to riches turned rich man marries yellow bone & cheats on her. Marriage isn’t all shambles. & because she’s yellow ,it doesn’t make her a gold digger either. This guy is just getting over-excited , we call these people “new money”. They start feeling they are the shit because now they get change after grocery shopping. I’m not happy.

    1. Samantha this is an everyday story and at least now as women we get to see how our men cheat on us, maybe we”ll even get ideas on how to counter or prevent it.

    2. Hey Sam how you? The truth is men dont regret cheating, they regret getting caught. My aim is to show you the signs as well as at times how you the woman contribute to his cheating without even realizing it. I never said all marriage was shambles for even the title tells you of the specific man we are talking about.

    3. @ Samantha, cheating happens everyday. Our daily lives are made of more than just our kids writing matric and contemplating threesomes.
      Sure, I was also a bit disturbed as I was reading, but I was also pleased to see how men perceive things. Would you rather not know how they see things?

    4. Samantha

      Either you suffer from selective reading, or just plain ignorant.. Please do not come to Mike’s blog and want to impose your values and morals on him and us, after all it was YOUR choice to be here in the 1st place.

      Cheating happens in our everyday life and we cannot overlook that fact. We are only on chapter 5 for God’s sake, I find it very prematurely that you would rant and rave about a book that is still on its crawling stage.

      Respect another man’s craft enough to give constructive criticism and not get personal.

    5. well Samantha, this blog is about our everyday lives. Please correct me if i’m wrong but, maybe you’re feeling this way because you’re not married. This is making me realise the real reasons why men cheat and their thinking behind it. very interesting! we might not like it but it is reality.

    6. Samantha you sound like an old grumpy woman. This is reality, these things happen everyday. If it’s too much for you than stop reading.

    7. Im 2yrs in my marriage and had a throw back about reading this one. It sort of feels like talking a sneak peak in my man’s head and its not very comfortable. As i read past, I see some familiar signs. from my exes to my hubby. Then again, I aint gonna put a blankie over my boo. i know the kinda man he is and this here is an interesting read….

  2. @Samantha,

    I actually agree with you. This book is not about a guys perception at all but rather detailed information of how cheats and gets away with it. “deciding which girl to throw under the bus just to distract your wife” like really.

    Anyho, hope everyone enjoys their day!

    1. Licia

      Did Mike give a Prologue to say that this is what this book is about?

      Oooh I must have missed that part, or only you have it..

  3. Ay awume Samantha!!!! If ure not happy than don’t read this hawuuu.. hhhay awume.

    Good work Mike… can’t wait for another fix… ihehehe the kiss.. and the bitch hugs the wife!!! Wooo ayy shem…

  4. What? Tell your wife you don’t want her friends over anymore? Get right onto it brother, just make sure you don’t get caught!!!

  5. Im hooked, I actually loved this chapter…I love this book, its an eye opener. Married women ,never ever trust your friends around your men. This book is highlighting some of the mistakes we make as married women, we push our men to cheat, indirectly though. Please continue with the book Mike ! well done !

  6. EISH!!!!!! I think i also agree this book is not going to be so hot as CONFESSION AND DIARY, Kanti what happened to Miss Steps …? This Khanya woman is too forward …If this is what we are going to be reading for the next i don’t know how many weeks then sure this is going to be boring… A MAN BRAGGING ABOUT BEING A CHEATER …SIS!!!

  7. A2Q

    Sometimes you have to develop your own hobbies and enjoy your life. If a man tells you he is tired, he means it. Let him rest, and find something to do

  8. Mike the way you understand human behavior I think you studied the wrong course

    Readers: Brikang net daar girls :

    Firstly can we respect the author to post whatever he wants to post? We can’t read the same book over and over again it doesn’t add up , we need to be educated on different aspects of life. The aim of this blog to encourage active reading so we can’t read same things. Like in the bookshop you pick up the book that interest you so here you just ignore the book you don’t wanna read gossssshhhh .

    Refiloe :

    You need to sell your couches and the DSTv || ok I’m kidding

    Men hate a whining women and the more you stand infront of him and nag the more he won’t do anything about the problem at hand. Make a list of things you’d like both of you to do , surprise him with activities you think you’ll both enjoy. Also keep in mind the activities you both enjoyed doing before you got married and don’t suggest them to him get him interested enough to do them . If you man loves soccer watch it with him , take interest in things he loves doing and do them him, get involved. If he loves soccer get both of you tickets to watch the game live, encourage him to take part when you cook or do groceries. Aint the best advice but yay!

  9. Dear MissCandy

    As much as Mike appreciates your feedback was there any need to end your comment with “SIS”?

    Ladies : please if you don’t like this book simply ignore it when its posted . We can’t read about teenagers and varsity girls all the time , we need a fresh perspective on other matters concerning life’s challenges.

    1. Hell hath no fury for a woman scorned..(hope am saying it right). I think all the women against this book have been cheated on and even worse they are soooo narrow minded not to consider the other side of the story. How many women have cried about their friends, just yesterday if I’m correct a cousin is dating her cousins ex boyfriend. Exactly what Mike is explaining. She made the bf “one of the girls” and started admiring her cousin, doesn’t matter that he took the whole year to pounce. WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES

  10. “If a man loves someone his heart belongs to her and her alone. You can cook him diamond encrusted soup in a platinum pot and can even do monkey style positions in bed but if he does not belong to you then just forget it.” thanx for that Mike true it is!!!

  11. Hayi maan, people please understand Mike writes for all genders, we men also need to measure our lives with dis married man, please stop ka bo selfish, woza nazo Mike, I love this blog baba!


  12. Positive feedback :Thanks Mike, i am enjoying this story and looking to gain a bit of insight on how a mans mind works when he does certain things.

    I’m also glad you are exploring other area, i have enjoyed all your books even the one that was abandoned before it could really get off the ground on a cheating woman. keep growing as a writer and hopefully one day , you will even start writing about a different subject completely.Congratulations and keep going strong. Your dedication and commitment to always being on time with all your chapters is also commendable;-)

  13. Being a varsity student I will admit I do enjoy diary and confessions the most… But I won’t be a youngster for ever… So Its really interesting to understand a mans perspective of marriage and cheating…. It makes me have an idea of what I might expect in the future when I join married life… Ill have an idea of what makes him tick and what doesn’t…. Its really a helpful book… You’re too awesome Mike ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. i have concluded, women are selfish. Mike needs to accomodate all Genders guys and believe it or not alots of guys read confessions and Zulu girl but u won’t hear them whining and complaining, ladies you can actually learn alot from this book coz guess what its REALITY and im definetly sure even its happening to u rite now and you not even aware, married or not. so can we stop being negative about this book.
    Tx Mike for your good work.

  15. I’m enjoying dis blog very much but if u have been cheated on,bitter n a jealous type u won’t enjoy dis blog cos it reminds u of ur cheating hubby or bf but let’s not be personal @list we are learning which s good.Nice read Mike n dis Khanyi s something else

  16. Well done Mike for a great read once again, we need to understand all aspect of human behavior which this book highlights beautifully! As a woman I enjoy how u are brutally honest in pointing out how we contribute to our men cheating! Also the men need to have a mans perspective because these books should accommodate all and its interesting to read their comments as they agree and disagree with the contents of the chapters! Job well done in helping build a reading nation!!!!!!

  17. And truth be told,men cheat but as long he respect u by not doing da cheating kak infront of u n taking care of u making tym for u then be merry though cheating isn’t good but we gotta live with it cos if we are impatient we will be jumping like frogs frm dis relationship to da Ada,one funeral to the other.But if ur man loves u then u will be his untill untill

  18. Dear Samantha

    The unfortunate part is this too is part of everyday life, and please get off the pedastal every woman has either been the wfe or the mistress. none of us get away with not experiencing cheating. this is truely refreshing, most times men are not willing to tell us how or why. They just do it nje! When sugar baby started most were quick to judge and ridicule. A lot of questions were asked similar to yours however in the end i believe that parents as well as young girls got to see that no deed goes unpunished. Read this from an objective view, take what you want from it or just simply stop reading ๐Ÿ™‚

    @Mike, once again you have the masses talking and i applaud you, keep th good stuff coming cause like it or not you are teaching some of us a thing or two

  19. Mike please write whatever you feel like writing, it is your blog after all and to those who have nothing nice to say about the blog please keep your comments to yourselves. Men cheat, women cheat, it is what it is and if you don’t want to hear about it than please do not read, it’s that simple. Haw, you get yourselves upset about a book so early in the morning, you gonna die young ngyaktshela, lol.

  20. I fully agree with u @Hunay…respect the writer and his gift.If u dont lyk it then dont read it..SIMPLE

    I appreciate ur work Mike and I always look forward to the next read..

    This book is an eye opener for me as a woman to try and curb the temptations that wud lead to cheating…Great one

  21. Morning ya’ll. Mike ma broer,,, this is your blog & whoever feels they dont like hearing about how mean cheat…let them go buy comic books ko CNA…rona we like , we like…kwaaa!. We tired of reading ka varsity students & their shenanigans. We want the real juicy stuff about adult life. Thank you 4 bringing out in the open mogeshu…we want more of this man’s memoirs. Simple maths & common sense,,,U dont like it,,,U ignor & dont read! Mike,,, o bosso!

    Monna ke selepe,,,

  22. Different people will love different things..u cnt please evry1.if it not working 4 u need bringing others down. No1 is forcing any1 2 read o like anything..if it not relevant 2 u..find sumthings elz dat wud interest u….. Mike keep up d good work.

  23. I am enjoying this story, even though the angle we getting is “my wife drove me to cheat” , already we see how the man was “tempted”, we also see how the friend comes on to him . He will be a “victim” of circumstance, ofcourse that happens but as long as he accounts for his actions as well. Keep it coming Mike!

    Kanti when will people get over Misteps, its a closed chapter. Lets keep it moving.

  24. Wow what a wonderful read, thanks Mike.

    As Africans, we are blessed with freedom of speech however lets guard what we say so we dont offend and discourage others. After all we are all brothers and sisters.

  25. Dear Refiloe

    Bake him muffins and put in weed in the mixture. Cause if you start whining he will be irritated. He will start think u are emotionally needy.

    Just bake him muffins sthandwa and let him be high for days (specially ka weekend)

  26. Dear Mike

    I have been cheated on by my then boyfriend who is now my fiance. Truth b told the unanswered q?s I had wt him then u have somehow shed light on them. Thank u for ds eye opener I hope both males and females wil learn from this so we can counter act/prevent so problems b4 dey happen. Bg up

  27. Its easier for people to write negative comments about the blog move right along dont read it or better yet write something u like we’l c how gud it goes.
    Great work as always Mike u are just talented….

  28. Sum ladies r nasty here,keep ur dirty comments out of dis blog if u dnt want to read or u didn’t enjoy just keep it to urself ur so damn boring. Tnx Mike 4 de Great chapter,Keep up de Good work,can’t wait 4 anada 1,surely I will buy dis book

  29. As a married woman I realy appreciate everything about this book, e nruta everything I need to be cautious about I’m my marriage. Pls don’t be discouraged by young girls who are bitter because their boyfriends cheated on them now they are scared when they get married it will be the same. You complainers sit down, relax, enjoy and learn. Thank you Mikey waka ๐Ÿ™‚

  30. And trouble begins lol
    Q.A:Girl your husband is just lazy period my husband is the same he has all the energy in the world when he has a night out with the boys SOLUTION:Leave him at home and go out with your friends jealousy will do the rest and he will make time bt if you’re looking for a date night well good luck coz you’re not getting it.

  31. Im one of those people that read almost everyday or have catchup sessions but never ever comment. My opinion about this book:

    1. Im also a young married woman, 28 to be exact, Ive been married for 3 years this year, my husband has cheated once in those three years, during my maternity leave while i had visited home. Its disturbed me to such an extent that I dont know if I can forgive him fully for it. This book has been an eye opener, thank you. although we are only on chapter 5.

    2. It is understandable why people would have such crude comments about the book, they dont understand what a young married woman understands, and some of them have not even gone through routines and monotomous actions in a young marriage. What you read about here, is the effects of such. So in short, I appreciate the read and new perspective. Keep it up Mike.

    3. Misteps should have continued, it is the flip side of this coin. Many woman cheat on thier husbands, men. i dont believe in cheating, i think its a habit. But ive thought about it. And the only times I have thought about it was when my hubby neglected me emotionally and physically. Theres always a willing partner, an ex, a friend in the office who is pushing you towards ignoring your hubby and focusing on your needs when all you really want to hear are sweet nothings and compliments on how beautiful, sexy and intelligent you are… Think about it Mike. Let me know what you think

  32. Mmmmh Nyc read bra Mike………. but Guys I think its simple! if you don’t like wats written here in ds blog, then DON’T READ!! Mike doesn’t owe you anything he z doing it out of his heart nd passion so please lets not discourage him….Keep up d good work bhuti I love your work

  33. Men cheat everyday actual every second. Mina I had a similar experience with my friend’s boyfriend. I use to think he hated me, cos he was very rude to me n disrespected me in the in ma friends presents, so it was no secret that we ddn’t like each other. Until one. Day he pitched on ma door tellin me he loves Me, I was shocked, he went on saying he was ugly to me cos he ddn’t want ma friend to get suspicious.than how I tell ma friend that his boyfriend is a jek, she wud never believe cos she’s certain that her man can’t stand me. N I have no proof that his been cumin onn to me. Thanx Mike this will an eye opener for alots of woman

  34. Thanks for the chapter Mike. Good read as always.

    I don’t like this guy. He blames everything on his wife. A woman can’t make a man do anything he doesn’t want to do. I still like this story, just not the character.

  35. Thanks Mike for this eye opening book…it is so true that us women trust our friends with our all, not all women are bad though but we must set boundaries .

    1. It makes me think gco, that my sister and a relative always say to me: In this world you should know that you are alone, therefore trust No One. It only makes sense now that I am grown…

  36. Very good work Mike!! Isn’t it funny that these young girls on this blog enjoy reading about N bragging about how he cheats with a married man but yet they don’t like this book….please grow up and stop sulking about confessions…get over it and appreciate the new book that will teach you about real life stuff. Tired about you moaning ka confessions everyday…go look for a sugar daddy and live Nelisa’s life…yerrr..evryday…Mike we miss confessions…Move on please!

  37. Mikey, please do not, I mean DO NOT end this book because of this ignorant comments that are being posted here, Your material is educational and very informative, i dont get why people are so hesitant to new things…

    Missteps is gone, will probably come back again in the future, but right now, we are learning about a man’s point of view*

    We love you Mike and this blog too*

  38. The fact is Man don’t always cheat becoz the woman did something. Men as you say in your book are visual being…they get tired of seeing the same bum everyday, get tired of eating the same cookie…if they see something lustful and attractive they will go for it (got nothing to do with the girlfriend or wife). Women cheat too no matter how its always said about men…we want to understand why men cheats..but if it is a female species that’s eating the stolen bread..they are called sluts…shame our society!!! I see it in the workplace, women are cheating on their men…becoz the men are lazy to give action in bed, the women also get bored, the men stop showing affection…even Jack from confessions cudnt perform well in bed as per N, but his wife was blamed for evrything… So people must just wake up…Men and women cheat…not only men!

  39. Keep’em coming Mike! Pity u couldn’t finish Missteps cz men would also learn how not to push their women into cheating. We wanna learn, from a man how men think.

    A person who never learns anything is a person who thinks s/he knows everything.

  40. hahaha, tapping into a man’s world. I’ve always wanted to know what happens in there. I’m liking the tips we are getting as well. I must say, you’re making me feel like being single is the best decision one can ever make. Not saying that all men cheat but chances are one meets the type that are prone to cheating. Amazing Blog!

  41. Food for thought:

    It is imperative to note that we are not ignorant or scorned woman that are bitter from previous relationships.
    Like yourselves we addressed our opinions about this book on this blog (which is what usually happens on blogs).
    Unlike confessions or Diary of a Zulu, i personally wouldnโ€™t recommend anyone to read this book.

  42. Great read!! although I bet now a lot of ladies are gonna start evaluating who’s the potential “khanyi” in their circle of close friends lol

  43. Iyoooh! This Book is getting more and more interesting. Can’t wait to read what’s next. This guy just tells it like it is. Thanks Mike. ๐Ÿ™‚

  44. as a married woman who has a cheating husband maybe I will get to understand exactly why men cheat. I’m nor perfect but I try my best to be the best wife ever.

  45. I thought Mike was the one writing the book don’t know why people are being forward… As far as I’ve read memoirs no one has cheated yet!! Its just an eye that has sinned against seeing!!

  46. @ Licia…..lovey I might sound judgemental or something but da way ur addressing ur opinion u and ur friend Samantha,u sounded negative n its best lovey if u keep those to urself.To be honest u both sound like u been cheated n now ur bitter…..dis s da earth where things are hapn’n.Men n women cheat.Pls stop discouraging Mike its his blog n he ddnt even invite u to read it.

  47. Thanks Mike. Haven’t actually commented on this book since it was first introduced, there was something about it which I just couldn’t put my finger on. Anyway looking at these comments today, I’ve just had an “AAAHHHHAAA” moment ( finger on the forehead moment), this book is just the opposite of Missteps and I liked Missteps coz it related to all my ‘missteps’, and now this book actually lets me have insight on what my makhwapheni at the office (partner in crime kuMissteps) actually thinks and goes about his business, and that scares me – coz it will show me how much I’ve been bluffing myself thinking that my partner in crime is my dreamlover! I’ll continue reading, though,….
    A to Q: go sign up for ballroom / latin american dance classes, or something that will get you both involved and also get to meet other ppl, not necessarily couples – but just watch out for the Khanyi-lady!

  48. Iyooo Mike thanks, This is a great blog maybe my friends will understand why I don’t want them to befriend my husband. This is reality and it’s not only your friends that flirts with your man family also do that.

  49. This is simple if u don’t like this blog don’t read it..simple as ABC..AEIOU,.YES or No..great work Mike ride on keep them chapters coming some of us ar not stereotype I would really like to know wat & why men cheat especially married man…

  50. Mike you are on fire Mister! Wow great blog once again! Please bring back Missteps also I was really enjoying it! Love your work man! Keep it up!

  51. Sies this Khanyi chick is a bitch u know, this has hit home a frend of my tried her luck on my man, I found out my own way, women should listen 2 their instincts I guess, to cut the story short I deleted her as a frend,and confronted her, I also bitch her out of my life… I don’t play like that, after all I’m a Xhosa chick:-)

  52. Mike this book is good, its such an eye opener, those who want Confessions they must write their own and stop with this negative attitude.

  53. Misteps ended cos you didn’t have enough married women who were willing to share with you as to why they cheated right?Hope this time around Majita are already willing to do so cos I think the story lines of these two books are interlinked. I’m So loving it and can’t wait for chapter 7 9 & 12. Goooo Mikeee!

  54. Skin colour shouldn’t be a factor Mike you can’t be stereotypical hey but anyway I don’t have a problem with this story I just have a problem with you leaving us hanging with the others..what happened to misteps? Why isn’t confessions being continued? Finish one story before starting another that’s all I ask for and ladies don’t argue about each others opinions yeah? We all have different opinions and we should respect them as we are all individuals and are different ๐Ÿ™‚

  55. @ Samantha & Licia u ladies shud take a chill pill maan! On confession N is proud of being a sugababe bt u dnt hav a prblm. Ke sure le kile la jelwa dats why le le so sensitive about cheating:)

  56. People, let’s respect each others opinions, we don’t have to agree with it,but be respectful on this public platform that has been created for us.I agree with the fact that a different story line is awesome. Mike I have to commend you, I learn a lot from your writings, we go through life so oblivious to what is happening around us.When ish hits the fan we are institutionalised because we never saw “it” coming. Wize up people, be aware of what’s happening around you. I’ve been married for 7 years and I’ve been with my tthen boyfriend now husband for 15 years on and off back then before we tied the knot. So reading about how simple things can go wrong is a great education for us who is trying to protect our marriages, and yes things do not remain the same as it was when u dated each other, that is why u need to be wakey.Daaaaaaaaaankie mike for sharing your views with us. Agree to disagree people, don’t be bitchy.

  57. Cheating is an everday thing whether irrespective of it being done in a marriage or between girl/boyfriend. I’m enjoying this book coz us woman we let our friends become to close to our men. I had a friend who her man cheated on her coz she was too relaxed didn’t have her guard up like I wanted my laptop charger back and she asked me to call her husband and ask him to bring it to me and I mean is it possible

  58. Thank u so much Mike for the good work,I’m not in a relationship nor married but I feel this read is quite eye opening,I believe I’ll leran a lot,many many many thanks and keep on doing a great job.

    Stick to ur opinion Mike and write w@u feel-

  59. Guys this is a diary of a zulu girl,if u’ve been exposed in writing a diary haaaaa then u will understand y Mike wrote as he like. The last time I check in a diary some things don’t make sense to others not to everyone so pls leave memoirs some of us enjoy it.not all of us are varsity students. And I believe confessions came to an end if u followed the content and understand your author then u will know confessions ended unless u expect season tym before u complain bear in mind its a DIARY.Mike I applaud you man

  60. People are just taking these books way too personally now! Unnecessary fights, vague and blunt comments..Aiy maan bangani!! Let the guy write what his heart desires, it MIKE’S BLOG after all!

  61. People are just taking these books way too personally now! Unnecessary fights, vague and blunt comments..Aiy maan bangani!! Let the guy write what his heart desires, it’s MIKE’S BLOG after all!

  62. PpLet’s be honest here,men cheat whether we like it or not,if your man isn’t cheating he sure is thinking about it and men do brag about their side dishes. Mike is just removing the blindfolds. Men should have a problem with this 1 coz boy if your gf is reading this book you will be in trouble in no time. I’m learning a whole lot. Thanks Mike.

  63. Its simple.Those that don’t like this story must just not read it.Period!

    Just an observation though. This guy is making herself a victim. Married men cheat without being enticed. Yes the opportunity presented itself but I hate this ‘holier than thou’ stunt he is pulling.Other than that I’m enjoying the story-great stuff Mike. Those who hate the story must just TAKE A HIKE.

  64. Q@A: a friend of myne had the same problem with her husband who was always tired to go out and someone at work made a funny comment that she must ask him to just give them 20 min to out some where and if he doesn’t like that place then she will never nag him about going out nd enjoying life. Just guees what was the place……”The STRIP CLUB” nd she did it out of desperation and guess what happened. The husband suddently became alive and was so greatful to her that after that day he learned that the is more to life but still he must always trust his wife that she know how to awaken the dead lion and that night she got a good one at home because he know what a wonderful night he had. Sisi I’m not saying do the same thing but the point about my friends story is that maybe the things you are suggesting are boring to him or he may fell that the is no point of trying if you are already limited. Before you plan something first understand why he is always tired because he may be realy tired because he is trying to make sure all the bills are paid, or maybe nothong interest him at all. Plan something crazy like my friend and make a deal with him but make sure u plan is a sure win then the rest will follow.

  65. I’m speechless abt the way u narrate stories,I’m asking myself tht r u bio or gay u r 2 much good 2 hv such insight in both genders.Keep up th good work u brilliant and 2 thse u tok rubbish abt ur stories can thy gv us some advice abt Life!

  66. @Misheck I totally agree with you about the kiss, it sounds a bit unreal and with so much convenience that the gal he was eyeing would just kiss him without hesitation and convincing. I like the story though but please dnt rush it.

  67. Soooo? is this the part where you guys have that one lousy excuse “she threw herself at me”…wandifisha??? Bhaaaaahhh!! You where thinking about it, you took advantage she was after all tipsy…you put words in her mouth – you suggested…you fantasized about it!! You got it and now uzoxela? Really guy?

    @ Refiloe you sound young still, why don’t you make the initiative, let him see you do your own stuff, let him wonder what gives you such energy and them whaammm! Jump him and leave him asking for more!!

    @ Mike – I am seriously complaining – you dropped “Missteps of a Young Wife” and now you have dissed “Confessions of a Sugar Baby”…. should we worry???

  68. Reading is a skill that can only be acquired by carefully reading with little bit of intelligence, look for clues, the first chapter is also important, it gives an inside to the whole book, and the rest of the chapters are just details of the introduction. This line tells us why this men will never be royal to his wife “Two of those years were magical I wonโ€™t lie but the day we decided on children meant the next six years have been torture. I donโ€™t even believe that one of the kids is mine but rocking the boat would just make matters worse. It says alot about their characters both of them.These two didnโ€™t get married because they loved each other; Asthandile is in it for a meal ticket because she doesnโ€™t believe in hard work and Mxolisi loved the idea of marrying a hot girl from high school. Had they dated in high I doubt they would have been married at all.

  69. Am reali learnin a lot 4rm Memoirs although de truth hurts bt at a least its an eye-opener,n I bliv knowledge is power.dis is nt only a learnin curve 4 married women bt also 2 de unmarried ones especially 2 young women hu r considering marriage. I say 2 Mike kip on revealing de truth and as women we reali should b thanking u 4 making us aware of de things we tend 2 overlook.

  70. @Kortes o o pile Kgomo lonaka @Mike hai ungishaya Ding Dong. Good ppl when u get 2 de. Movies u r watching nd enjoying ur self the Movie comes 2 the end what do u do u just stand up n go,when u get to the last page of a book nd there is that word*THE END* written there what do u do as much as u want it 2 continue u know it’s not possible bcoz efedile kapish kamaswabi sengwe le sengwe se nale bokhutlo a re amogeleng.

  71. Mmualebe o bua la gagwe gore yo o nang le le lentle a le bue. So please stop criticizing Samantha and say something dat will benefit both Mike n us readers. Peace guys!!
    Good goin Mike we are really greatful for the free education.U really know how a woman think.just look how they are attacking their fellow woman on this blog

  72. Only came across this today but read thru the 5 chapters of Memoirs in 30min!! Too entertaining, and the fact that u cn relate, even as a woman! Vele us women make our friends so comfortable arnd our men…. Mmhh they’ll show you!!

  73. Ey Mike thanx 4 another grt read I lv all ur blogs I think u r rili talented u cld write abt vegetables bt I knw u wld myk it interesting cz u r gud lyk dat I think u shld also bring bek missteps while there’s stil memoirs myb u cld write missteps as it being the tired black mans wife write it as her percpertive on their marriege or sumthing lyk dat.Thanx 4 intertaining us

  74. Samantha this is an eye opener to ladies, it explains that man r weak individuals that an be easily tempted not because they dont love u but because they think with their di.. so dnt let ur friends befriend ur man klaar….I like

  75. Oh Gosh…People are such party poopers. Mike this, like all ur other books, is exceptional, perfectly executed writing. I really do not see the need for people to be against such writing. If u don’t enjoy a movie u switch it off….if u don’t like the truth that’s being told here, kindly move on

  76. I like the book,very much. This is what happens everyday,whether to a yellow bone or dark nubian woma,cheating is there. Call me crazy but I dont trust any woman,beside our mothers,around my man. Especially friends,cousins(mine and his), colleagues bona ba worse. At least he does not have female friends and the day he claims a woman is his friend then ke tla tseba gore meetse a tsena ka ntlong.

  77. Hi Mike

    I have read all ur diaries and I must say a JOB WELL done to u. They are really awesome and makes us aware of things that happen everyday in life. I must say I’m a married woman and I’m really enjoying this Memoirs and really looking forward to more chapters.

    So well done to u and keep doing what you do. AWESOME STUFF. XOXOXO

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