Memoirs – Chapter Eight

Posted on Posted in Memoirs of a Tired Black Man

When it comes to cheating and unfaithfulness I don’t really care what Steve Harvey lied to women about, you can never ever think like a man as a woman. Most women are classy, have standards, pride, respect and above all loyal. Yes you get the few tjatjarag ones who will sleep with anyone but they are few enough for us to call them names. You have never heard a phrase that says “all women are loose” yet it is a universally acknowledged theorem that “all men are dogs!” A simple example is this, most women cannot sleep with a guy they do not feel something for. Their bodies will reject even to allow him to enter her. Moreover most women will not sleep with a guy they consider dirty or inferior to them in some way. Men on the other hand can even sleep with a prostitute, a dirty filthy person whom he has to pay for it just because the moment arose or the drinks hit the right spot! How then can Steve Harvey say you can think like a man! That fool must just calm down and stop lying to our women and also woman stop believing everything you read! Men are competitive by nature and conquistados. We hunt and can sense the presence of a beautiful woman long before you even identify her. Where you see a rival we see a challenge! That’s how we identify women and why we see things differently! If you are married and don’t believe me go look in the mirror and see what his hunting skills brought home! With that said, my wife gone, now having a few drinks I had a beautiful woman sitting in front of me. Temptation personified.

You know if you are married to someone whom you intellectually don’t click with you tend to see that person as childish and lacking reasoning skills. Its not meant to be offensive but most men do not want to marry women they consider dumb. My wife though not working was not dumb. However, because she did not get to talk to other professionals as she was isolated at home meant that having a conversation with her about the world, politics, sports, finance all things that matter to men did not always work well. A working woman can often debate more than one who does not because just by leaving the door in the morning she exposed to these things. A lot of my friends often say that they get really annoyed when a woman says what’s the use of knowing these things because they don’t put food on her table because that has to be the most ignorant statement ever. Chatting to Khanyi now I was fulfilled. She could speak about anything and everything. Yes she did not have the depth I had in some topics but it was so attractive hearing a woman know more than just the Kardashians. Women never get this that watching TV is not always about entertainment but should also be about expanding your knowledge base. If on your pvr all you have recorded are soapies and reality shows of Americans you will never ever one day meet then rest assured your husband and yourself will struggle for conversation as time goes on.

I got to know more about her actually. She had never been married and was focused more on her career for now. She wanted to be established by the time she was 30 then worry about marriage then. She said she didn’t mind not getting married to be honest because men are full of drama. When I asked if she wanted kids she said yes but not now. She said she could even have a kid without a husband because she had a good enough job to take care of a child if need be. All in all she was fiercely independent! Career women are the most likely to have an affair with someone else’s partner. Surprise! Even at work when we discuss amongst my colleagues the women often say they don’t mind having a taste of married men as they don’t have men of their own. A married man will not be clingy and call all the time meaning she gets to have fun without the added hustle of being tied down. Moreover career orientated women because they are still very much in the game tend to look down at their married counterparts hence why what’s theirs is also theirs! Furthermore they make an easier prospect for married men because we know she just wants a shag. Most men in my position therefore cheat because we are presented with an opportunity to cheat with the fear of getting caught hence we take advantage of such situations.

I called my wife to check up on her. She said Zimasa had been found but problem was she was pregnant. She had run away because she feared the consequences. 17years old and pregnant in South Africa is nothing new. We have stopped being shocked in all honesty. I even knew the person who made her pregnant but we were not friends. He was a doctor from the area who was notorious for dating young girls. Yeah doctors, that’s another story! Moving on. My wife said she would only be back on Sunday late as she had something to do in the morning. She had therefore changed her flights.

She asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was watching TV alone missing her. Well that was a lie. The truth was I was having the most riveting conversation with a beautiful woman. She asked if I had cooked and I told her no was going to have take out. It’s not like she liked cooking herself. My wife hated the kitchen and often we would have take out be it from Pick n Pay or what. I was not fussy about a home cooked meal to be honest so didn’t really mind. She said that she could ask one of her girls to bring me something if I really wanted a meal. Newly wedded wives tend to forget that their men were self sufficient before they married them. There must be somewhere it is is written that the way for woman to prove her worth to her man is to slave herself in the kitchen! Its pounded into their heads by their mothers growing up that you are half a woman if you cannot cook. I was not about to accept her friends to bring me food. Come on now. My wife was taking this friendship thing too seriously.

When I got back to the TV room I found that Khanyi had stood up and was getting dressed. By dressed i mean putting on her light cardy. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was leaving. I was stunned. She was leaving! Just like that! I asked her why and she said its Friday she was going to go out partying with her friends. She was not going to babysit me all night. Imagine calling a grown married man like me “baby”. Funny enough I didn’t take offense but like hell she was leaving! No kiss and not even a hug. Was what had happened that night a fluke or maybe I had misread the signals.

“I am coming with you!”

I said firmly the way I would talk to my wife. She looked at me and smiled before she said…

“No you are not!”

And walked out!

****The End****
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Morning Mike, its Ms T.

I had mentioned to you before that I am 29 yrs, married to a 34yr old &he’s got 2 wives (ngami). Well husband has a problem shame, whenever he tries to cheat we always catch him, like we always find out just when things are starting to get serious. This has happened to a point that it has stopped hurting so much and I have accepted that most men cheat & that’s no reason for me to leave him or my kids as I doubt I will ever find one who will not cheat. He’s a good man otherwise, very good man, loving caring, wonderful father who will actually die for his kids. So me leaving him for his cheating is just not worth all the good things he has done & the good person he is because its not even often that he cheats, more like once a year or something. Now my worry is that he takes life very seriously &this occasional cheating could me that he is serious with that particular woman &he might just say one day that he’s taking a third wife. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that coz me and my sister (his wife) married at the same time.


98 thoughts on “Memoirs – Chapter Eight

  1. hay kabi but i miss confesions shame!

    a2q.. i dnt understnd how on the 1st place u cope with sharing a man myb u dnt lov him shem

  2. great read. wonderfully structured seems like im watchn it. really know how to draw a picture with words man. love your work. have a superb weekend. lots love!!!

    1. Hold on! Did you just say “When I got back to the TV room I found that Khanyi had stood up and was getting DRESSED???”
      What did I miss?

    2. hay no this chapter was half written, my thought exactly we did not read where it say she undressed as far as we read they were sitting chattin only, another thing, men dont like using the word “shem” and “calm down” unless he is gay, pls present it from a manly perspective

  3. A: you shouldn’t have agreed to being a second wife in the first place if you were going to have a problem with him having more wives, you’re already sharing him so why would it hurt if he took another woman as his wife? If he’s as much of a good man as you say he is then he’ll take care of his kids if you decide to leave him. Its quite clear that this man is not a one woman man even a two women man and you should accept that or leave its your choice sweety.

  4. hey mike, Steve Harvey said think like a man and act like a woman! not be or act like a man, a woman!!! and also be true to u as a woman!!!

  5. Dude, Khanyi has you right where she wants u & all part of her seduction plan. I don’t get some “career” women like Khanyi, u don’t want marriage yet u go & have an affair with a married man, why can’t u find yourself a “career” man sharing your sentiments!

    Poly, esthenjini there are no limits, he may have said he only wants 2 wives but he doesn’t mean he will stick with 2 wives. Sisi, u chose to marry a polygamist, so u need 2 be strong & accept that your man loves women. Wena khethile khethile!

  6. thanks Mike….as I complained before I think this is slow and we’re used to the edgy heart racing stuff.

    Q&A – Your husband Sisi you don’t have a problem here you like your marriage and your husband’s infidelity. He made it clear that he’s a polygamist when he married you so deal with the fact that he may take a 3rd wife one day.

  7. Q2A ‘ I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that coz me and my sister (his wife) married at the same time. ‘ Pardon ma ignorance but are you sayin you and your own blood sister got married to the same man? If sooo than i dont have words.

  8. Q&A:
    Wait how sure are u that he cheats once a year?come on girl don’t fool urself here,as much as uv caught him cheating before doesn’t mean that the rest of the time he’s not doing it,come on know ur worth already,do u not value urself??hai I don’t have energy to go further iyoooooooooooo

  9. Khanyi Khanyi, playing hard to get, ufuna ukushelwa and all that jazz, but you’ve already acted slutty by kissing another woman’s husband. Anyway, thanks Mike.
    A to Q: still stuck on a 34 yr old guy with 2 wives part!! *clap once, and taking a sip of water!* Sisi the moment you agreed to a polygomous marriage, you gave your husband permission to openly have affairs, after all he could not have taken a second wife without having an affair first and then marrying her. I’m also assuming that he is loaded, b’coz you can’t take on a second wife if you’re just average or poor – so if he’s rich, know that no: 3,4,5,6,7 are coming if ama tender esavuma!!! Good luck.

  10. Ok , chapter 8 of memories of tired black man.

    My Q is did they sleep together ? Because her , it just jumps to where khanyi is putting her clothes on after his phone call from his Wife

  11. Guys…please grow up…Mike is not gonna spell every detail on this Blog….eg..he said..”with my wife away,…after a few drinks & a woman sitting in front of me…Temptation personified”…YES they did the dance…hau!!!!
    Thats the reason Khanyi came o er…she wanted 2 be hmmm.u know what…now she is leaving…ka sepedi re re o khoshe bjale wa sepela…she is full…in fact U know what…i think she is disappointed!..

    1. “Funny enough I didn’t take offense but like hell she was leaving! No kiss and not even a hug. Was what had happened that night a fluke or maybe I had misread the signals’….???

  12. the way i love memoirs nkosiyam 🙂 you’d swear its a TV show or something I LOVE IT!!!!!
    to answer Q: you know Ms T I actually laughed when i read your ‘PROBLEM’ what makes it funny is that you are justifying his cheating ‘ its not even often that he cheats, more like once a year or something.’ how sure are you really??? and as polygamist hes gonna take more wives and you need to make peace with that because you already sharing him with another woman i think you were supposed to be heartbroken when he married you and your ‘sister’ in the first place. for your sake and yur kids’ sake just pray that you dont get sick like contract STD’s or even HIV because these things happen its just reality when i comes to cheating one can get more than they bargained for and i hope it wont be you or the other wife.

  13. Dankie Mike! I am a working married woman who likes 2 watch Entertainment channels lyk Kardarshians, nd these american soapies. My husbands lykes 2 watch wild animal channels, historic channels, which is boring 2 me! When I read this story, it make me wanna change my attitude, read or watch something dat will expand my mind! Yhoooo lesson learnt Mr Maphoto!

    QnA: what is ur quest Ms T! U r just telling us dat u r happy with ur lyf! If u r worried then speak 2 husband, coz the best key 2 a marriage is Communication! All de best!

  14. And oh i think its about time confessions came back hey. Mike i know you can juggle all three of them at the same time please tuuu

  15. This is getting interesting by the day…..
    A to Q- you have already succumbed to his polygamous ways, y r u then worried about the third wife, prepare yourself young lady coz it`s bound to happen sooner or later. Evening worse you are trying to justify his infidelity with every bone in you…like, seriously! Who r u fooling here, us or yourself? There is nothing like a better or worst cheater so if he`s cheating e`s cheating….and lucky him coz his wives are actually his biggest fans

  16. mara I don’t get what’s confusing ya’ll about the getting dressed part.

    “When I got back to the TV room I found that Khanyi had stood up and was getting dressed. By dressed I meant putting on her light cardy.”

    she had obviously taken off her jersey cos she was indoors and she was now putting it on cos she was getting ready to leave mos………….

  17. Guys listening is a skill I know but apperently so is reading. Mike clearly stated that ‘by dressing i mean putting on her cardy’ it mean a cardigan and that is a sort of jacket. No they ddnt have sex, Khanyi must have taken off the jacket she was wearing. Read guys and stop skimmin thru

  18. This guy had no reason to cheat, he is just making up a lot of excuses to cheat on his faithful wife like “oh shes a housewife, oh she cant cook, oh shes boring in bed, oh her best friend kissed me first, etc etc.”


  19. Jesus Christ! This guy, like most guys before him (and others after him) makes up reasons for cheating as he goes.
    I mean, his wife hasn’t given him any reason to cheat. He probably knew while they were still dating that his woman does not like cooking, does not want a career, or whatever. Now he’s singing a different tune.

  20. Iyoh ppl Mike said:Khanyi had stood up and was getting dressed. By dressed i mean putting on her light cardy. A cardy is a cardigan lol
    Tnx Mike great stuff.

  21. Maybe Khanyi had joined her friends husbands in the pool and they chatted in the pool..or maybe she was putting on her cardigan but why would she wear it coz it was hot on that day..! Anyway marvelous writting Mike!!

    And oh ya eish guys I’m addicted to masturbation I’m a girl of 26 and I don’t know why I love porn and masturbation! I mean my man satisfies me in all the ways.. Or is it because I miss him so much as we both stay miles apart! I even once did phone sex with my cousin who’s in prison it was so hot! M i a sex addict?

    1. @ Sugar kwaaaaa, I understand! I un-der-stand! however phone sex with cousin, tjoooo dats a bit steep! mzala is mzala, qha.

  22. Kwaaaaaa…LEAVE Steve Harvey out of this. Poor guys speaks more sense than most men I’ve encountered and I’m a big fan of :p

    Lol! Thanks for the great read,,,enjoy your weekend people!

  23. Kwaaaaaa…LEAVE Steve Harvey out of this. Poor guy speaks more sense than most men I’ve encountered and I’m a big fan of :p

    Lol! Thanks for the great read,,,enjoy your weekend people!

  24. Ah Mr Maphotho nyc chapter always! Dzankie MissTumz nd Re…ppl dnt read nd undrstnd bt r too quick 2judge wen dey c useless mistakes! A2Q isthembu wznt a gud idea in de first place! Seek answers 4rm ur Creator this is juss not right! Yinkinga blind!!!

  25. Thanks 4 a great read Mike..people come down mike did say that by saying getting dressed he means putting her light Cardy back on,so No they ddnt shag

  26. People seemingly you dont read with understanding! By “getting dressed” he meant putting on her “cardy” as in “cardigan”

  27. A2Q it is already known that man are never satisfied . But with 2 wives already I wonder when dz he even get time to cheat as woman are very demanding not to mention kids too . Clearly ur husband jst likes skirts and he won’t stop any time. U jst have to brace urself and let him be bcoz this is the life u chose, maybe hell outgrow it one day.

  28. I don’t understand y u guys are actin dumb coz mike said she is puttin on her light cardy=cardigan..n mike Steve Harvey is a good writer too so singamfaki lana please, thank you

  29. Eish just because u don’t agree with Steve Harvey u don’t have 2 call him a fool. Maybe u should actually read the book b4 judging it by its name. Its actually a very helpful book…

  30. Yeah guys but Mike has never said Steve Harvey is a fool…he said & I quote “he lied to you”. So stop lying to ourselves that you can think like cannot & Mike is trying to highlight that & is giving you some tips on how you get cheated on. Hau! Keng ka lona! Stop attacking Mike on his Blog. He is merely raisiing his opinion on what Steve Harvey has fed you. Wake up & smell the Coffee ladies!

  31. It annoys a lady that might be a side dish or a shag to hear that he is calling his wife while I’m here (shag or side dish). That’s why she left. They did nothing. That’s why he said without a hug or a kiss. It was still Friday when she was leaving. She said she will do something tomorrow morning (Saturday)

  32. It annoys a lady that might be a side dish or a shag to hear that he is calling his wife while I’m here (shag or side dish). That’s why she left. They did nothing. That’s why he said without a hug or a kiss. It was still Friday when she was leaving. She said she will do something tomorrow morning (Saturday). Its my bornday today. A year order than I was a day before

  33. Joh guys, do u read wit understanding. She was putting her cardy(cardigan) on shem. Nthing happened as yet hey. Thanks Mike

  34. Mike didn’t say steve harvey is a fool,,nd tht book ibakhohlisile abantu nd still,no woman will eva think like a man while acting like a woman it’ll be da opposite infact if thy du think like man they’ll eventualli act like them nd be called namez like wh…..res,b….tchies nd so on

  35. Im not reading amything Mike, i cnt seem to find ada chapters plz guys help watsapp? In DOAZG i stopped ku chapter 154, memoirs chapter 8, confessions chapter 99 nd missteps a while ago it was chapter 6. Kanti watsapp rly? U ve taken a break to all these books or its me who cnt find chapters?

  36. Mnxiiiim this Asithandile gal is too trusting, if u r away…why would u want your friends to bring your husband cooked food…sisbhanxa sentombazana na esi? I doubt she’s Xhosa like me coz asoze ndenze lo nto mna!! Rhaa isile nale ndoda….making other women who are not career-orientated nje ngaloKhanyi look like they are airheads….(Like hell) and yet she’s that’s the same career-driven bitch that’s @ her “friend’s house” tryna seduce her hubby, there’s nothing superior or unique about her, this Khanyi is just a horny bitch and KARMA will deal with her (ufuna uqhwatywa for ukwenza le friend yakhe isbhanxa), I don’t give a damn how stimulating her converstions are, I hate the fact that men like justifying their cheating, and we have to deal with it…as if they have a right to sleep around! Nxaaaaa

  37. Yes Mike women should stop believing everything they read including some things written mo Memoirs. Sounds to me like you want women to just accept to be cheated & not value their worth, I don’t think its fair for any woman to settle for that level…And yes I do understand that you trying to be realistic about this,most points you have raised here I do get them but I cnt accept to be in a relationship with someone who will cheat on me and I just be calm abt it , I cnt imagine myself saying “ow yah there’s no problem with him cheating cos he’s a man and that’s what they do”.

    But otherwise nice read hey :), and still agree with Steve Harvey :p

  38. Guys this is Mxolisi’s life,his views nd opinions on how he sees the world,w can’t expect him 2 live it according 2 our strandards so let’s relax nd enjoy the read take pointers on what n what nt 2 do. Men cheat nt because they r genetically programmed bt because we have allowed thm 2 get away with it that is why ther r still good men out ther who dnt cheat

  39. How then can Steve Harvey say you can think like a man! That fool must just calm down and stop lying to our women and also woman stop believing everything you read!

  40. WOW!! Who or what is your muse Mr Maphoto! u really r a good writer damn. I think I’m in love

    qna: once a cheat alwsys ….. Either u accept it n do nothing about it, leave him n let him take care of his kids or stay with him n cheat nawe.

    Mike is right women must just accept that most men cheat weather it be once a year ( lol, like that has ever happened) or everyday they cheat qha kwaphela. I have accepted it and like most women “I love him too much to leave him” and the hustle of having to start a new relationship after 11 years with this guy, hhayi angeke ngikhone. So I’m not strong enough to leave him and I refuse to cry myself to bed Everytime he’s gone out, hoping n thinking that he will change, coz that will neva happen. so in turn I’ve joined him n I’m cheating and I’m loving it. When he goes out to be with his “boys” I encourage it n nami I’ll go n be wit my boy, lol

  41. Lady that man is a cheat dnt console yourself he cheats once a year, he’s a cheat tht means he cheats more once a year. Expect wifey no 3,4,5,6,7 etc cz that’s what’s poligamist do u married one so dnt be suprised pls.

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