Its my birthday today and i have just turned five. You know how every boy wants to grow up just to be like their daddy big strong and superman. You know how we all want to talk like you, walk like you and smile like you? You know how we all want to go fishing with you, go to the theme park and do a lot of our firsts with you. I am no different daddy for i am a little boy growing up too but why are things so different with us. You left mama to raise me all by herself is this how it is done? When i grow up should i abandon my kids to the wolves like you did with me. I am told that growing up we learn by example and the example you have taught me is that its ok to make a woman pregnant and leave her to fend for herself whilst you go and sleep with other women.
Dear daddy today i was hiding behind the door and i saw mommy take out her purse to count the coins in her purse. She looked worried but when i walked in she looked up and smiled and hugged me saying, dont worry Jonah everything will be fine. But later on i heard her crying in her room and i knew everything was not ok. She called you, i know she did for i heard her say your name, Michael asking you to bring us the basics sugar salt and cooking oil but you must have said no for i could hear the desperation in her voice when she asked you, how am i supposed to feed your son? When i become a man daddy after i make children is it ok for me to leave them starving like you do with me? I dont know what a man is so i can only learn from you
Dear daddy today nana came over with groceries. She gave me sweets and a big hug and told me to go play outside whilst she was talking to mama. But you know me i like things i went and listened from under the window. She asked mama how she was holding up and mama broke down and started crying. I have never seen mama cry so much which was very sad indeed for i started crying too. Mama asked nana why a man could be so cruel and abandon her own child and nana said come here my child, hugging her and told her all men are the same. I am confused daddy what does that mean? Is it our job to make woman cry the way you make mama cry? Is it our job to not be there for our children when we have them? If it is daddy then you are doing a marvelous job
Dear daddy today mamas best friend aunty Mary came to the house. She was crying and she had her bags with her. She looked like she had been in a brawl. Her face was fine but you could see that she was heavily bruised. I could see the belt marks on her arms and shoulders. Aunt Mary is beautiful daddy and i like her but today she looked like she had last smiled years ago. She told mama that her husband had beaten her up because she had burnt the pot. Daddy if you see her you would think he beat her up because she had stolen something or cheated. She also told mommy that he had been angry with her because she had found lipstick stains on his shirt and confronted him. She told mama that he told her she has no respect for him and must learn her place as a woman. Daddy, what is the position of a woman? Am i allowed to beat my wife one day in future because it seems that is what real man do? Please tell me daddy because i felt so sad seeing mama and aunty Mary crying. Oh i forgot her husband came to pick her up later and gave her flowers and a chocolate, i thought that was sweet!
Dear daddy today mama came home with a new man and she said one day i should call him daddy. I was confused because i know he is not you. He is so kind and makes mama happy. When he is around she is always happy and we never go hungry. They are having a big ceremony and they say i can carry the ring. When i heard the door knock i was shocked at what i saw. It was you and you were angry at mama calling her names i am ashamed to repeat. You told her no man can raise your child but even me without nana to explain it to me i wondered when you have ever raised me. You threatened to kill mamas new boyfriend because she belonged to you. Mama was crying and you said you would take care of her. Then you said you were leaving and took out a big stack of money and pulled out r100 and told her to buy food and clothes for me! A r100? Is it ok then daddy to abandon my family for years then when they are just to be happy i come back to claim them as my own? I will be a daddy too some day so i must follow by your example or should i not?
Dear daddy the ceremony was huge and everybody came. You should have seen mommy she looked like an angel in white. I wore a black suit with a bowtie. You should have seen me, i looked like that guy on tv. I am sorry you couldnt come because i hear they put a restraining order against you. I don’t know what that is but i heard nana say if you were seen anywhere near us the police will come take you away. Then mama came to me and told me to call her new husband daddy. I just wanna ask you this daddy, are you not ashamed that i am about to call another man my father. Are you that useless?
Your loving son