How do you tell your friend that the guy she likes is a dog of the worst kind? Dating a South African soccer player is like sitting at the back of an open bakkie whilst its drifting and you not wearing a seat belt. I am sure its one hell of a ride in which he is the only constant and you just an accessory. They like bling just as much as they like the newest freshest thing on their arm. On the one hand he is a PSL soccer player, S-curl clad, ear ring wearing lacoste branded black South African man who thinks when he chews gum with his mouth open he is the coolest thing since sliced bread. On the other he had many other women in his life and wasnt ashamed to show it. I bet you he drives a GTI? In fact lets put money on it! What is it with rich girls and slumming it? I tell you its a trend, maybe they think it gives them a thrill to date beneath their social status angazi but some things just look pathetic. Come on, there was no way this loser was in the same league with Ayanda. She was soft spoken and from a polite society back ground. He didn’t even speak like Bongani Khumalo who I swear is one of two South African players who is audible when they speak English. This guy is straight deep kasi. I would rather get her a rural man than one of this pantsula relic clinging wannabe. People who say “eckse” “es vaar” “ola” then whistle are a dying breed because most of them died a while back of diseases linked with promiscuity. Yeah I said it! Call me be biased I don’t care this moron was not going anywhere near my Ayanda!
He nodded his headed to me and said heita. The nerve. This guy was really going to stand there and pretend that not two hours ago he was walking out some other girl. Why do men always think that girls will have their back over other women regardless of whether she is your friend or not. I was so insulted. I know at times you want to stay out of it because your friends business because they don’t react well when you intervene. Ayanda I loved. She was what I wanted to be like when I grow up and I was going to protect her as much as I could. Fuck this guy. Women need to warn each other when they date abusive lying cheating bastards like this guy. Why would you wish him upon another woman especially one you know?
I told him straight that stay away from my friend. I asked him how he could stand there unashamedly in front of me pretend I had not just seen him. He tried to protest but I stood in front of him defiantly. I am a Zulu girl and if he dared to strike me I would moer him shem. Ayanda was confused about all this and tried to argue but when I told her she was going with me to my room right now she didn’t even argue seeing how pissed and steadfast I was. I didn’t hear it coming nor did I see it. I heard a sharp “ppa” sound as his hand landed comfortably on my cheek Wayithela mpama. Ngezwa izindlebe zam zinyakaza wajike wathi “sies ucabanga ukuthi ngoba ugijima nama kwaang ungcono ku nathi”. ( He clapped me hard and said “sies, you think now that you run with foreigners you are better than us”” then he walked away.). Two things happened at that moment. One he had connected with my ear and I could hear a sharp w-i-i-i-i sound and a burning sensation. I even for a moment lost sense of where I was. Secondly this man had just slapped me for telling him that I saw him cheating on my friend! Why is it men think they can hit women and get away with it? Not this Zulu girl shem!
I went after him as he was walkng talking on the phone as though he had done absolutely nothing wrong. I think thats what made me angrier, the act that it was so casual to him! The fucken arrogance of this skinny man.!Have you noticed that it is usually the skinny ones that think they can hit women! I kicked him hard from behind connecting with his knee. He just went down saying knee injury but I didn’t care. I had never been hit by a man before and this random guy who I doubt was even a first team regular thought because he was a soccer star could do that to me. I told him that I would like to see where he was going hide when my “kwaangs” came for him. Kwaang for those who don’t know is the derogatory term which Johannesburg people especially use for foreign people mostly West Africans. I told him that with him slapping me had just further emphasized why most South African girls thought that he was not half the man my Python was. I walked away. Ayanda who had just stood there too shocked to move just stared. I told her she was going to my room immediately and I was not going to hear no for an answer. That’s the thing with rich people; they are cowards and will never get into physical confrontation. She didn’t argue and she followed me quickly to my room her arms crossed across her chest. I had just dumped my friends boyfriend for her. Deep.
By the time I got to my room I was shaking. I had defended myself out of raw emotion but now that I was alone it overwhelmed. I just broke down crying. I know it doesn’t seem so strong considering what i had just done. I didn’t even have a short temper but for some reason seeing that idiot with Ayanda had just switched a light in me. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut but what kind of friend would that make me. I am not violent and have never been in a fight ever but I was not even two months in Johannesburg already a brawler. What has happening to me? I was still so angry and crying. Ayanda i think was too scared to ask what had just happened.
I picked up my phone and dialled.
I told the person everything that had just happened inclusive of the derogatory terms.
The person listened attentively and calmly.
He asked me if I was ok but because I was crying I obviously said no.
He then said I will see to it tomorrow I shouldn’t worry.
Ayanda still shaking asked me who I was talking to!
Question: Have you ever been hit by a man you were in relationship with? Even a slap? What did you do about it?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you so much for the responses we have received for Soshanguve Orphanage. I must say I was pleasantly shocked by the responses, humbled and honoured to have received all your support. I would like to set up collection points as logistics can be a nightmare for all of us. I am seeking volunteers. I already have Pretoria East, Pretoria North, Springs, Braamfontein and Polokwane. Please if you can help by allowing people to drop off by you it would be greatly appreciated. 13 July we all drive to Soshanguve.