I was dreading this moment. When my alarm went off I just wished that I could stay in bed forever and that time could just stand still be it for a moment. The thing with time is that when your execution is near it seems to move so fast. When something good is coming your way it seems to drag on forever. With my impending death versus my trip away I am sure even time took a moment for it was confused which one to take. I was on both extremes. I couldn’t linger on those thoughts for long though because as soon as I woke up my mother was already at my door saying I should get ready because she was personally taking me to school. On the one hand it was good because I didn’t have share a transport and on the other hand bad because I had to go with her. Was she going to make another scene? Immediately I had tears welling down my cheeks. Not again. Was this a woman showing how much she loved her child or a psychopath who loved drama? Where was my mom? I think that morning more than anything would change our relationship forever. You don’t continue to kick a carcass when its already dead.
I did my things silently but when I denied breakfast she went off on there was no way in hell I was leaving that door without eating. She didn’t want sugar daddies giving me money for lunch she said. If only she knew, they don’t give me pocket money, they take me to Sun City, I thought to myself rolling my eyes! Eish bad mistake! Every girl will tell you that rolling your eyes has to be the worst crime you can commit to your parents as a girl. What? That’s almost always guaranteed to get an immediate decisive reaction. Ah! As if I wasn’t in enough trouble already. “Did you just roll your eyes at me Nelisa?” She was incensed! Obviously I replied “No” which only made her angrier because now it became “Are you saying I am lying?” She was holding a wooden cooking stick in her hand and I was certain she would swing it my way. Fortunately my father and little brother walked into the kitchen at that moment. My dad immediately told my mum to stop. He told her that I have learnt my lesson and disciplining is about teaching not maiming. I know he was angry at me but I am sure he now felt sorry for me. I knew he would be in trouble later on for picking a side against her in front of the kids. I didn’t care really I didn’t want that stick on me.
After we were done eating my dad took my little brother and I left with my mother. Fortunately because I did not use the transport I got to school. There were not many people at the gate. My mother thank heavens said she won’t be entering with me. I instinctively let out a heavy sigh of relief. It was immediate and unintentional. She saw it and heard it too. I could see a slight smile of victory on her face though I must pity too. She had won. She had driven her message across. “I am sorry about what I did mom, ndiyaxolisa kakhulu!” With that I left the car. I didn’t give her a chance to respond. I didn’t want her to respond. I hated that woman with every ounce of my body at that moment but I knew how to win a war not small battles. I was going to grin and bare it. A lot of teenage girls hate their mothers at some point in their development. This was the first time I had ever had that sentiment.
Even as I walked in I could see the grade 8s pointing at me arguing whether or not it was her (meaning me). One fat girl with bad acne and crooked teeth insisted that it was not only me but I had been dropped off by my sugar daddy. Some where even whispering that I had been kicked out of home. Imagine. One girl even said and I quote for it made me laugh on such a gloomy day “U ma wakhe ngathi uChuck Norris, uwdingi noh’buza” loosely translated to “her mother is like Chuck Norris no questions asked”. School hadn’t even started and already I was hearing all these things. The thing with students is that when you are in shit, they want you to know that they know and want to do it in your face to evoke a reaction out of you.
Two girls that I vaguely know but we are in the same grade came to me. They started telling me that I should be careful with Sibongile because yesterday she went around telling people that it was about time I got caught because she had warned me several times about my “sugar daddies” meaning I had had plenty. Much as I was so angry I kept quiet and just cried. One of the girls just said hang in there and they walked away. Even my friends where turning against me. It is so true that saying that when times are hard friends are few. In high school I had always kept a small circle. I didn’t belong to a clique of ten like most girls her because it is a lot of admin as well as fights to break. I did however speak to many different cliques of girls but not necessarily as a member. I therefore expected that a lot o people that knew me even vaguely would either laugh at me or speak to me to comfort me. I was grateful though that it had been in the office, the beating that is, because there would be a video out there by now. People love such things that humiliate others.
I heard someone call my name. I knew that voice very well. I was not ready for the questions for I had no answers. There are people whom when you commit a crime you do not want to face up to. It can be parents, friends, teacher even lovers at times. With me it was everyone. My dating one person, whom in all fairness I was not even dating, had become everyone’s problem and concern. Like really! Why do people involve themselves in someone else’s business? It is wrong and unnecessary.
At times just because you lay your own bed doesn’t mean you necessarily want to lie it. It is forced on you.
It was Thabo! So early in the morning! This was going to be a bad day!
“Can we talk please?”
That’s all he said!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (facebook)
Question: What is the worst thing or humiliating thing that ever happened to you in public?