I am not really a fan of surprises. I am sure by now you can tell why. Last time I was surprised had ended up with public humiliation and a thorough beating. A lot of people get into trouble not because they are unlucky but because they create a sequence of events that lead them into trouble without actually factoring in the potential consequences. You find that they blame God, the devil or if you from traditional communities you find a Sky Diver or two to blame! For those who don’t know what a Sky Diver these are witches who ride brooms like Harry Potter. You are the creator of your own destiny pure and simple. Taking responsibility for your actions means you get out of trouble faster and on your terms. I don’t think idiocy in men has an age restriction. I know its easy to think that when people say man think with their dicks is a generalization but really it is not. A grown man going after a child is not using the brain. A married man with kids having a nyatsi is not using the brain. A married man sleeping with prostitutes is not using the brain. If you have a girlfriend and you still insist on chasing is not using your brain. Have I placed all the blame on men? No! We play a role too but if you are older then the blame is entirely on you. That said, you do not come to your sugar babies house unannounced like what that fuck! You make her panic and fucken make mistakes. I was pissed! I was scared! I was stupefied! I don’t give a shit how old Jack was but that was fucken moronic! It was not cute whatsoever! It was more than shock. What on earth was he doing here? He was just going to make the situation worse? I know he had called first but him coming here was completely unnecessary.
My parents too seemed a bit shocked. You know when you are in the middle of a fight and some respectable person enters you tend to put up appearances. Well that was us at that moment. My mum and dad are super actors shem. It didn’t look like they were fighting. My dad greeted him like an old friend. He asked him to come in with a smile and asked my mum to make some tea. It was so bizarre. My dad even said to me “Hau Nelisa don’t you greet guests” of which I did my best “sanibonani”. I think my mother was relieved I didn’t go crazy on him for I saw a slight smile on her face. I think the realization of the drama she had caused was starting to set in for my father just knew how to calm her down.
Jack, sorry, Siyandas dad, spoke directly to my father as though I was not there. He declined the tea. You see a respectable member of your community (courtesy to his wife of course) will always be let into your house. He basically told my parents that he had brought some study aids his daughter had used and passed Geography. He gave a tale of how she had been so bad at it and yes she only got a C in it but from where she had come from it was beyond a miracle. My dad a true ANC groupie just swallowed it all in. Its like when it came to politics he couldn’t think for himself. Jack told them that there was a conference for young aspiring geologists this weekend in the North West, Sun City, which he strongly suggested I should consider attending. He said his company had three slots which were open. If they were interested he would add me to it. He told them that such opportunities could lead to bursaries in future which I would greatly benefit from. This guys could sell water to a dam shem. My dad was already thanking him before he even finished. Wow! Anything to cut a corner.
My mum though angry seemed to be in approval as well. She had sat down. Hands crossed across her laps like the dutiful respectful wife. She told him that God will bless him a million times over. Nobody asked me if I wanted to go. Nobody asked me if this was good for me. The decision was made and was final. My dad offered to walk him out but he said rather me for he needed to brief me on what I must email him by days end tomorrow inclusive of a letter of consent from my parents. What was he playing at? Was he making all this up just to get me up there alone. Wow he was a great liar if it were so. My father said it was ok and my mum agreed to but not before hissing with grated teeth that I mustnt embarrass her. People get this, 90% of you cannot whisper. In fact because whispering tends to make your voice have a higher pitch it means it carries further especially in a quiet room. My mother was one of those people who tried the whole gossiping in public through whispering and often I was left embarrassed. This was yet another of those moments. Immediately Jack asked if this was a problem but my mum assured him no even though I was in trouble. He just laughed and said I have a teenage daughter too the drama never stops of which they all had that uncomfortable laugh at my expense.
I walked him out and asked him what he was thinking showing up at my house like that as soon as we were out of ear shot. He said he wasn’t kidding there was an opportunity here for me and I should take it. It was a program funded by a company his was affiliated to. It was real and official. The perks of having an older guy neh. They have access to things you don’t and if you get the intellectual kind they try advance you as well. They justify their failings by overcompensating with gifts. They believe they are doing you a favor. There are two kind of sugar babies out there. The first kind is those who get fucked for money and are treated as accessories, things and someone’s property so long as they get paid. They don’t build the future and are stupid enough to think he will always be there. The second kind is those who use these sugar daddies to advance themselves financially, intellectually and get access to resources. Yes they give up the cookie but get so much more in return. I wanted to be the latter. With my parents’ permission already given I knew I was off to Sun City. I told him that I didn’t have a phone anymore because it broke, long story I concluded. He didn’t ask though and said he will get me a phone tomorrow. He asked me what phone I wanted and I said a Blackberry. He said ok! Wow!!! I had been begging my parents for ages and this guy just said yes just like that. No conditions either! But how would I hide it from my parents?
He didn’t stay long though but said on Wednesday morning I must check the mailbox at 5 in the morning. Since he couldn’t call me that is how I would find it. I thanked him and went back into the house. My mother forever the pit-bull was waiting for me and started telling me that I can only go if for the whole week I was well behaved at school and there were no incidents. At school I had never had incidents up till today. I can’t remember the last time I had gotten detention if ever.
Ah FUCK!!! I had detention this weekend for sitting down in class during English! I could not go!!!
But that was not my biggest concern!
How was I going to enter the school grounds tomorrow?
I knew everyone was waiting for me!
Sibongile hadn’t even called!
I was screwed!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (Facebook)
QUESTION: Is it important for you whether you get married or not? Is it worth it? Do you think that prevents you or your partner from cheating?
A special thank you to Erkhululeni Municipality for all the support they have given the blog. From the big man right down to his staff,
Mr. Khulekani Ntshingila
Ms. Charmaine Ledwaba
Ms. Olga Mphela,
Let’s work together and spread a positive word to improve the morality of this nation.