The person startled by the scream fell off the bed with a thud. I switched on the side lamp and there was Gorilla! I won’t lie I was scared. He really is a big man. He was wearing a vest and pyjama shorts. Was he about to rape me i asked myself? Should I run? A lot of things go through your mind at that moment. Instinctively I felt myself try to cover up even though i was fully dressed. Where would I go? I was in Fourways and i knew no one here. It was early morning and i didn’t have a home to go too. I was alone. Why did I come here in the first place? Was I crazy? God was punishing me. Even if i screamed no one would hear me. These yards are so big. I had no way of protecting myself even if I wanted to. He was standing between the door and me. The windows behind me had burglar bars. So much for security.
For a moment there we just stared at each other before I asked him what he thought he was doing. As calm as a sleeping baby he told me that he could hear me fidgeting and figured I was cold so he came to check on the electric blanket to see if it was working!!! I must have been born yesterday if he thought I believed that. See why I told why we Zulu use blankets we buy at Oriental Plaza not this electric nonsense. He could see the shock in my face and went on to say that at times it gives problems. I don’t know how I got cornered into it but soon he was accusing me of thinking he was a rapist. He told me of how he had invited me into his home and how out of his own concern he had come to check up on me. He reminded me of how he had been there for me even though he had not even asked me questions about why I had been kicked out. He told me how he drove all the way to Milpark to rescue me and this is how I react. I felt bad. I felt like an idiot. He was right. Had I not smiled when I saw him in the reception area? I started to apologize. I had gone from the screaming teenager to the apologetic one in less than ten minutes.
He reassured me that it was ok but felt as though he was being treated like a monster. He asked if he could sit on the bed of which I readily agreed. I felt really bad. Because I could not sleep anyway we started talking. He was quite a fascinating MAN to be honest. I found out that Python actually works for him but they were friends. He was friends with Pythons brother who was based in England hence how they knew each other. I don’t how but we eventually ended up lying in bed together. I told him I am not going to sleep with him when he started touching me. I didn’t tell him to stop though. It started off as a massage, him kneading my shoulders until at some point he was fondling my breasts. Maybe it was my hyper emotional state but i was aroused within moments. He knew how to work his hands to be honest for it take long for me to start breathing heavy. In all this he was saying absolutely nothing. Not a word. Wow. Is it true that guys tell you how much they love you during sex and how beautiful you look? I would probably laugh if someone did that because it would come across as cheesy and rather weird for me. I mean imagine how during sex you moan, squint your face, grimace, scream etc then he said, “oH baby you are so beautiful,” lol that would be odd. I prefer the silent sex. No sweet nothings for me thank you very much! Anyway it was at that moment that I told him to stop and to his credit he did. He asked me for a blowjob “to relieve the pressure” as he put it. I gave him a straight no on that one. He would have to settle for a hand job.
I think the fascination men have with blowjobs is that it degrades women. I know we call it pleasure to make ourselves feel better but imagine the thought of having someone stick his “thing” inside your mouth and worse cumming inside you. We are not allowed to say such things out in public because if you say that even your girlfriends say you are backward. You don’t know where his “thing” has been and in whom and at times for how much. Now it has to be cleaned by your tongue. As girls we do a lot of things. Gorilla was not as big as Python where it counts! Rather short and stout. For a big man he was rather disappointing no wonder why S had cheated on his ass!!! Can’t be built like a mountain then walk around with a stick between your legs like what the fuck!!! It fit in my hand perfectly and I have small hands so you imagine. I tried to think of other things as I did it but I couldn’t help but feel dirty.
I wasn’t really distraught about it at first but at least I didn’t sleep with him. That was what was in my head at the moment. Fortunately it didn’t take longer than ten minutes. What a relief! However when he left my room soon after I saw him put something on my headboard. As I was lying sideways i didn’t see it clearly at first. Then there on the head board in a folded stack held together by an elastic band were hundred rand notes. I knew it was mine but i didn’t pick it up. I could not believe he had just done that.
He had just paid me for ‘sex’!
For the first time since I had come to Johannesburg I did not smile after i had received money.
I cried so hard!!!
I have a soft spot for single mothers. You have to do twice the work with usually half the resources or none at all. Worse, at time you have to face families and communities that blame you for being in that situation in the first place. I know its hard and your tears at times run freely. Somehow though you find a way to pick yourselves up and get back on your feet. You look at your little miracles and realize that wow God has worked his miracle yet again through you. Happy Mothers Day moms and may you remain truly blessed!